


enigmatic kalopsia

by alicemitch09



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, F/M, Friends to Lovers, High School, Light Angst, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Summer Festivals, Trigger Warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:09:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26814166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicemitch09/pseuds/alicemitch09
Summary: enigma (n.) a person or thing which is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.kalopsia (n.) the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are.Who knew these two words would fit a person so well?
Relationships: Hirugami Sachirou/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 33





	enigmatic kalopsia

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this was longer than what i originally planned. Curse you Hirugami *shakes fist in the air*
> 
> kyo sohma made me do this. originally, this was going to be playful and tsun-tsun, but the idea was there and i had to take it. also, this is inspired by a long desire of mine to just run away, but i never have the heart to do it. also, i had this one college friend who shared that he once ran away...and took a ship to camiguin (an island next to where i live). like, wow? GOALS!?
> 
> It took me for fucking ever to work on this, because I’m not a musician, so I had to backread some favorite works (don’t ask, it’s a lot) and delve into my playlist (which is shit, btw).
> 
> And lastly, look, i love hirugami and i just wish there were more fics dedicated to this wonderful boy.
> 
> gentle reminder that this fic took place in 2012, the timeline of the nationals. This was a fun write because I had to revisit my playlists from 2012 and my indie faves.
> 
> **  
> TW: mentions of suicide ideation and abuse.  
> **

**LATE WINTER.**

The train rocked gently, passengers all in the comforts of their seats patiently waiting to get off their stop. Some were tuned to things – a book, their phone, twiddling fingers, enclosed hands, loose fabrics from their shirts, strands of their hair, anything to fill in the moment.

A few had chosen to stand, some by the middle or by the doors.

One such figure, with a guitar case strapped around her back, stared out. Blankly. Completely blank written to her eyes and her face. One arm wrapped around the railing, to keep her grounded, the other holding on to her elbow. Blank eyes stared out the train window, watching the world in a blur accompanied by a sense of loneliness, emptiness. As though she’d been drained whole.

Feeling the train slow, she adjusted her figure, letting bodies pass by her.

Her body felt heavy, tired. Hollow and numb. Empty. Drained.

Her mind was a mess, desperately needing something. An escape.

Feeling the train move, something came to her.

As though struck by lightning, her body jolted, standing straighter.

An idea struck her.

Instead of getting off her usual stop, she decided to take a detour.

At the last stop, she practically dashed off to the next train line, speeding when the doors were about to close. Barely making it in time, she gripped the metal pole in her hands, holding tight as she caught her breath, oblivious to the stares she was getting.

Looking over her shoulder, seeing the world outside blur – realizing that _yes_ , she did this, _yes,_ this was happening, she couldn’t help but grin.

A train and a bus ride later, knees bouncing, fingers drumming, eyes looking out the window, she found herself where she wanted to be.

Blue.

A horizon of endless blue.

Something caught in her throat, she swallowed, but felt it stuck.

 _Blue_.

The sight of blue was soothing, calming, lifting the weight off her shoulders.

Feeling a twitch in her fingers, she balled one into fists, the other held on to the strap of her bag.

Seeing the waters up ahead, she quickened her pace. One step became two, shoes sinking in the sand – startling her, but she kept on.

Chilly February air causing her breath to come out in puffs.

When she was a foot away from the water, she stopped. Watching foamy water streak the sand, before retreating back. It hurled back up, almost touching the ends of her shoes, before retreating again. Small flecks sparkled from within – salt if she could remember from her biology class.

And then there was snow, all around her.

Seagulls cried above her, flapping their wings against the strong winter monsoon. The water just barely touched her shoes and she couldn’t help but let it out – a giddy laugh, slowly turning to full-blown laughter, head falling back to laugh her lungs out.

It must’ve been strange, seeing a high school girl laughing by herself in Tanihama Beach while her shoes were nearly touching the water. But she didn’t care.

She needed this.

She felt light.

She felt free.

This was everything.

Fixing her gaze back to the horizon, (e/c) eyes brightly set on the purpled skies, the smell of saltwater gusted over. the sound of the waves, seagulls, faint footsteps against the sand - it settled her in.

And so, began her little ritual.

…

_I’ve found a place for my head._

…

 **EARLY SPRING**.

(Y/N) (L/N) was his classmate.

If his memory serves him right, she had confessed to him during the last day of their first year, but he had turned her down. Because honestly, he had no time for a relationship with his focus solely on his academics and volleyball. Also, just the thought of being lovey-dovey with someone made him sick. Also, it brought his big sister and her boyfriend to mind. Eugh.

 _Also_ , he remembered her being a bit of a musician.

A member of the Light Music Club who played the drums, guitar, bass, piano. Heck, she could even play the violin and taiko, too!

He had heard her sing, and damn was she good. When she sang, she literally commanded the crowd, calling all to listen, like a siren trying to lure fishermen to their doom.

But she seemed pretty closed-off, for someone who loved music so much. They weren’t close, but he could tell as much.

Then all of a sudden, that same freshmen year he remembered chopping and dying her hair blue when they returned from summer break. It was such a huge surprise to everyone. But she had always been a bit of a punk, just to this extent was a shock to everyone.

Over time, she let her hair grow, and the blue-dyed remained.

Now, in their second year, her roots were showing, the blue-dye complimented her natural (h/c) hair. And piercings, she had some of them on her ears. She might’ve been scolded and sent to the disciplinary had she not been an exemplary honor student and they decided to let it slide.

She was an enigma.

Hirugami would like to think that he wasn't one to really dwell on such enigmas, but he can't help it.

Especially when said enigma was lying on the grass at the park, arms spread without a care in the world. 

The blue of her hair was dark, allowable by school standards, and just slightly distracting. Its color was shades darker than his jersey - which was a light blue, the color of the sky during carefree mornings. Hers were darker, the color of ominous, secretive midnights, missing just flecks of stars.

But under this light, it was almost... _ocean blue._

Feeling a tug, he almost forgot he was walking his dog - Pan, a white Akita. Impatient and full of energy, Pan barked at Hirugami, who just blinked and stared in turn.

Humming in thought, eyes flickering back to the enigmatic girl still lying on the ground, he shrugged and smiled. Eh, why not, right?

Unlatching Pan, he took out his ball, and his furry companion happily jumped at the sight of it.

Laughing, he circled the ball, ensuring he has Pan's attention. "Alright boy, ready?" pulling his hand back, he fixed his sight on his target. It would be quite shitty of him, but hey - curiosity wins every time, right? "Fetch!"

Sailing through the air, he watched as the ball landed just by the girl's belly, snapping her off her daydream. Lifting herself up, she stared incredulously at the fallen item before getting ambushed by a big ball of fluff. _His_ big ball of fluff. Unable to help himself, Hirugami broke into laughter, chasing after Pan.

"Hey, sorry 'bout that, (L/N)."

Squinting, she looked up, meeting his gaze. "...Hirugami?" He waved in greeting before pocketing them in.

Now that he thinks about it, she even dresses up like a punk – stereotypical red plaid shirt, red beanie, a black band shirt, ripped denim shorts, fishnet stockings, and black boots. It suits her, especially with her blue-dyed hair.

“Ah, so this is your dog, huh?” At the mention of his dog, Pan lifted his head, tail wagging wildly. She broke into a grin, hands running through his soft fur. "Aren't you a cutie cute, you? Hmm?"

He snorts, seeing how she folds for dogs. Dogs are amazing. "His name's 'Anpan'."

That made her pause, hands holding on to the cheeks of the white fluffy dog. "Anpan, like the bread?"

"Yeah.” Unfazed by her reaction, he nods once, holding on a smile. “We call him, 'Pan' for short."

Pan barks at the mention of his name, tail wagging.

Her (e/c) eyes narrow at him, judging. “...Okay, _who the fuck_ names their dog after food?”

“Hey that's rude, nobody asked you why you were named either.” he counters, arms folded against his chest in offense of her words.

Rolling her eyes, she was about to put another say when Pan nudged her lap at something.

Ah, right. 

Taking the ball in her hands, she threw it just a few feet away. Pan was quick to give chase, both teens laughed at the dog’s enthusiasm.

Pulling her beanie off her head, letting her hair loose, chipped dark nails ruffled through. Stretching her arms overhead, a satisfied moan left her mouth.

There was a lingering comment about 'unsafe naps in public' or 'you look like homeless', but instead, he goes with: "Had a good sleep?"

"I did, until your giant fluff puff ambushed me."

He snorted. "Fluff puff?"

"Well, isn't he?"

Pan was just walking back towards them, when he caught sight of another dog and dropped the ball in his mouth, happily playing with a golden retriever, its owner laughing at his vigour.

"Oh yeah, he totally is a ' _fluff puff_ '." he made sure to emphasize the words, teasingly. “Is it wise to sleep out in the open, though?”

“Excuse you, I _was_ doing something before I wounded up with a block and decided to rest my head.”

“Block?”

Realizing her wording, she put on her beanie before holding out an index finger, an indication to let her explain. “Not the blocks that you do in volleyball. Sorry, shoulda used a better word, hmm…” she tapped her nails against her propped knee in thought. “…slump? Yeah, I was in a bit of a slump.” She nods, deciding.

So, she knew some volleyball jargon. Block was pretty basic, but it was something. Just as Pan entered his field of vision, ball in his mouth, (L/N) was standing, sliding on her bag over her shoulder.

“Well, this was dandy of a random meet-up, but I’ll be taking my leave now.” Giving Pan one last rub, she bends over and squeals into his face, before giving him a kiss. “See ya, Pan, Hirugami.”

“Yeah. See ya.”

Turning away from him, she begins walking and his eyes follow her. Her figure continues to shrink as she leaves the park, the cherry blossom falling in her wake, making a rather picturesque exit.

Pans nudges at his leg, peering up at him begging to play some more. Conceding, the brunette takes the ball from his mouth, his dog’s tail wagging wildly, barking excitedly, before throwing.

(Y/N) (L/N).

She was a walking, talking enigma alright.

…

Bouncing on her feet, she could hardly wait as the bus made a full stop. She practically leaped off, landing on the asphalt no problem, before making a wild dash for the beach.

A grin broke out of her face, blue hair wild against the wind, feeling her lungs beginning to burn as she spread her arms out to the open sea, welcoming and receiving the smell of saltwater.

Laughing, she twirled around, feeling the familiar sand beneath her shoes.

Idly walking about, letting the waves crash soothe her nerves as she hummed a random tune under her breath.

It was always so relaxing to be there, in her own little world, watching her footprints in the sand only to be washed away.

…

_I wish things were this easy…_

_…_

Now, Hirugami wasn't one to care about things he knew were either a waste of his time or just something unimportant in his short life, but this was _something_.

As it turns out, they've been classmates for a while, but it was only now that he realized how close they were.

In terms of the seating arrangement, that is.

"Good morning, (L/N)!" he greeted with a bright smile by the door.

His response was one eye twitching with her brows furrowed together, confusion written all over her face as to why _he_ was greeting her. But not wanting to be rude, letting her expression relax a bit, she replied, "Yeah, mornin'" then walked towards her seat.

She sat to this right, just by the wall on the fourth column. Settling in his seat, he observed how she carefully set her instrument - just a pair of drumsticks, today - next to her bag. But no lunchbox. He's actually never seen her with a lunchbox, that bothered him for some reason.

"Hey-" just as he was about to ask, he stopped, seeing that her earbuds were plugged in, her eyes scrolling through her phone for a playlist.

Hirugami stared, weighing his options.

Before he could act on them, however, Suwa peaked in and called for him. Standing, he headed towards the door, but not before sneaking a look back at (L/N) who was lost in the music, cheek resting against her hand, bobbing and tapping with her finger to the beat.

During classes, she was diligent alright - taking notes, paying attention, the works.

There were moments when she'd zone out, the lesson taking a toll on her that she'd hum a song under her breath, fingers or pen producing a beat as though she were playing the drums right then and there, a smile spreading across her face. Then she'd return to her notes, smile in place as she jolted her notes.

When lunchtime came around, he watched as she simply walked out to her awaiting friends by the door. Together, they walked out at the same time, he grinned cheekily at her, she replied with a tight smile.

Meeting an awaiting Hoshiumi and Hakuba, he briefly caught on her friend's scolding, "Eh? Melon pan again, (Name)?"

A chuckle was (L/N)’s reply.

“You need to eat more, (Name),” another of her friend tells her, worryingly. “If you want, I can share-“

The rest of the conversation was cut as he and his friends rush to the cafeteria, Hoshiumi wanting to get first dibs on today’s special.

After lunch, when everyone’s walking back to their classrooms and having walked out of Hoshiumi and Hakuba’s stupid little debates, if they can even call it that, he spots (L/N) by her table, reading notes. Musical notes, upon closer inspection.

Out of curiosity, he asked. “Hey, (L/N).” she looks up at the call of her name, blinking. “How many instruments do you play?”

Dropping the pen she had been spinning, she leaned on her folded arms. “Who’s asking?”

“Me?”

She eyes him warily, confused by his sudden approach, but answers. “Six.”

 _Huh, that many_. Hirugami can’t imagine having to spend so much time learning that many instruments given their 17-years of existence.

“Wow, you’re basically a one-woman band.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Yep, definitely closed-off. Or maybe he just needs to be part of her social circle unlock more dialogue?

“Anything else I can help you with?” (L/N) watches him, thinking about this conversation they’re having, and how weird it is to be talking to someone who rejected you.

“Nothing! Thanks for your time~” Hirugami replies, settling in his seat, oblivious to the confused look on her face before she shook off and returned to studying her notes, spinning her pen.

It was fun picking at the pieces of the enigma, though.

...

Fridays were off days for practices.

Hirugami relished in the thought of playing with Pan the moment he got home, but he was sure his sister was over. And when his sister’s over, her boyfriend’s sure to be over. And when they’re together-

A cold shiver runs down his spine, feeling the cringe in the form of bile forming in the pit of his stomach. If he was lucky, he can avoid both entirely and take Pan for a walk until dinner.

Yeah, he could do that.

Walking in the train car, he thought of doing his homework after his bath. There’s a high probability that his sister’s boyfriend will stay until dinner, his walk would have to take longer. Or a run would be good since it clears his head and disinfects him of his sister and her boyfriend.

Hirugami stood in the middle of the train cart, holding on to the bars, thinking when something blue catches his eye.

Blue-dyed hair.

Blue-dyed on (h/c) belonging to one (L/N) (Y/N).

Had they always taken the same train home?

Thankfully, she hadn’t seen him, lost in the beat of her music, fingers tapping on her sides.

Surely, he’s weirded her out today. Maybe, two, if he counted that last weekend he saw her at the park with Pan. (Surely, that was a normal meetup, right?)

Sliding his gaze over her, he finds her standing against the train doors, head against the glass, drumstick case slung on her shoulders with her backpack in front of her – the picture of a normal musically-inclined student to all, but to Hirugami, she was still an enigma.

Even knowing this, and that his stop was coming up, he found himself wondering about her. So, it came as a surprise that after a few stops, she was still in the same spot and Hirugami had _not_ gone home as he originally planned.

(Oh well, at least he’s spared of front row seats to his sister and her boyfriend being disgusting)

They had reached the last stop, (L/N)’s expression changed; her (e/c) eyes were bright as she walked out and sped through the next train line. Hirugami kept a close distance, his curiosity only increasing when he saw take a train to Niigata, the nearest prefecture to Nagano. Was she visiting a family? A friend? On a weekend?

The fact that he still followed her as she took a bus astounded him, truly the lengths of one’s curiosity were amazing.

Minutes later, just as dusk broke out, he found himself face to face with the ocean.

Noetsu Beach.

_Of all places, the beach?_

Considering that they live in a mountainous region, seeing a blanket of blue stretching into the horizon was a sight to behold. But come on, there was Karuizawa, which was closer and within the prefecture!

(L/N) walked down the beach with almost practiced ease, shoulders relaxing, and her expression light. But her eyes, there was something smoldering within them.

When she faced the river, it was though she was at an impasse.

She just stared, first at the waves, then to the expanse of the Sea of Japan, then lifted her eyes for her eyes to search for the clouds. The clouds were painted purple, streaks of blue remaining, a sign that dusk had come, and the night were calling.

Letting her eyes fall shut, she seemed to lose herself in the moment.

Turning to her side, she began to walk, one step becoming two, small steps then big steps. With her arms stretched to her sides, she continued walking on, leaving trails of her footprints behind. Footprints much smaller than his.

It’s closing to half an hour, but she continued her trek. Judging from her relaxed expression, she seemed to do this a lot.

Coming to an abrupt stop, Hirugami wondered if he’d been caught.

Nope.

Instead, with her arms still spread to her side, she turned to the ocean, as though receive its hug with every crash.

Something inside him dulled, crumbled at her down crest expression.

In one breath, she yelled – one he did not expect and shocked to actually hear – practically her lungs out, as though letting everything out. And he just stood there and watched. "...Eh?"

She continued yelling, her voice drowned out by the waves, uncaring, just wanting to release it all – pain, anguish, disappointment, _everything_. He felt his judgment slipping off, feeling more for her throat with the yelling going on.

When she was done, she put a hand to her knees, to stabilize herself, tired out from all the yelling. Shoulders heaving with each breath, taking greedy mouthfuls of air.

Deciding to let his presence be known, he carefully approached stopping just a few feet away. “What’d the ocean do to you to make it be the receiving end of such hatred?”

“Ha-" jumping, she turned, eyes wide as saucers. "HI-HIRUGAMI?!” her voice was a bit raspy from all the yelling.

“Yo.” He greeted with a smile.

“W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!”

“I should be asking _you_ that,” he asks, a matter of factually as if he didn’t deliberately follow her for an hour and 20 minutes now.

Sputtering, she took a step back, eyes still wide as saucers. “T-Thi-This is my spot!”

At least her voice toned down a bit, he was worried about her lungs there for a second.

“ _Heh,_ I see.”

“That doesn’t answer the question: _WHY_ ARE YOU HERE?! YOU LIVE A STOP AWAY FROM SCHOOL!”

“ _Wow_ , how do you know that,” it was meant to be a question but his tone says otherwise.

“Fucking-“

“Simple: I followed you.”

“Ha?!”

“Call it curiosity.” He shrugged.

“Bullshit!”

“You’ve got a real potty mouth, don’t you?”

Ruffling her hair angrily, she turned on her heel. “Fuck this, I’m leaving!”

“Eh? But you just got here!” he followed after her, she began walking faster.

“Stop following me!”

“It’s not safe for a young high schooler such as yourself to be walking alone, you know~”

“What are you, some fucking Yandere now?”

Elsewhere, a fisherman and his wife watched the two teens argue, the rebellious teenage girl walking angrily away from the tall, dashing teenage boy.

“Ara!”

“Ah, youth.”

…

_Sometimes, just existing is exhausting._

…

Come Monday, Hirugami found himself making a quick stop at a convenience store near school after morning practice. Just as he was heading back uphill, something blue caught his eye. He couldn’t help grinning, slowly jogging in his steps.

“(L/N)!”

She froze, shoulders jerking upwards. Her friends took a curious peek at the approaching middle blocker, nudging at her.

“Hey! Morning!” he greeted, grinning ear to ear.

Stiffly, she turned, a small pensive frown on her face. “Hey, Hirugami…” she greeted back, her voice quiet.

All that yelling from two days ago worried him. So, he held out the plastic bag in front of him. “Here.”

The girl just stared, eyes wide. “H-Huh?”

“Come on, just take it.”

Weirded out, she awkwardly took the bag from his hands, opening wider to take a peek in – there was cold medicine, lozenges, and a large bottle of lemon-honey tea, which was slightly warm.

“Hirugami-“

Tapping his throat with two fingers, he simply explains. “Take care of your throat better next time, okay? What's a musician without her voice, right?”

Reddening, he chuckled at her expression before walking ahead.

Behind him, her friends exploded, worrying about their friend, and asking what he was talking about. Hirugami could only grin wider as he entered the school grounds.

…

(L/N) was tuning her guitar, thumb flicking at the string as she turned the key, when she heard a knock at the door. They had a guest? Probably one of her senior’s boyfriend or girlfriend, so she didn’t bother to turn. She was tuning the last of her strings when her hair fell over. Satisfied with how her guitar sounds, she carded her hair back when she heard her name.

“Oi, (L/N)!”

“Senpai, do you have any-” turning to her senpai, she was just about to ask for a hair tie only to stop. And stare.

Because standing at the doorway, with her confused senior, was a vacant-eyed, smiling, waving, Hirugami Sachirou.

“H-HIRUGAMI, WHAT THE FUCK!?”

“(L/N), language! _God_.” Exclaims her senior, disapprovingly. Behind (L/N), the drummer chuckled.

“Hello!" he greeted, trying to be cheery. "Sorry for dropping by, I hope you don’t mind-“

“As a matter of fact, we _do_ mind! What are _you_ doing here?!”

“I just came to watch. Again, I hope you don’t mind?” he directs his question to the senior, who seemed to be delighted by their special guest, _especially_ from one of the star players of their school’s volleyball team!

“But of course!”

“He has practice!” she argued, forgetting to fix her hair entirely.

“Coach cancelled it for reasons,” the brunet says simply, shoulders shrugging. “Plus, I can walk you home, (L/N),” he adds rather casually.

The whole room fell silent at his statement, eyes slowly turning to the fuming (h/c) and blue-dyed girl, face twisting into a look of what seemed to be shock and confusion.

“Come on now, (L/N)-san, just let the boy be,” the first-year bassist says after a beat.

(L/N) held her guitar by its neck, threatening to bash the boy with it. “Don’t talk to him as though he’s younger than you, idiot!”

“WAH, SENPAI HELP!”

Hirugami watches the scene with a smile, even as the president of the club apologized for (L/N)'s brashness, the member's antics, and directs him to sit. Eventually, she seemed to calm down and comply.

“By the way, (L/N) here.” He held out a hair tie to her, which she takes gratefully, but not without growling at the drummer and bassist.

“Hirugami-kun, would you like something to eat? We have some snacks, too.”

“Ah, I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

“Alright, anything you’d like us to play for you?”

He hummed, watching as (L/N) tied her hair, fascinated at the way she held, twisted, and tied her hair in. Still humming, the band members – including a frowning (L/N) – waited on him.

“Hm, surprise me.”

As one, the band turned to each other mouthing off something he didn’t catch – probably a music piece to play – he felt slightly guilty for pressuring this on them. Keyword: _slightly_. But they seemed like a capable group, even with them ganging up on (L/N). There were other members, but they seemed fine regardless. After a while, seeing as they’ve come to a decision, wordlessly they collect themselves to prepare playing.

“Ah, hold on, hold on!” their president called, taking his phone out as he stood next to the middle blocker.

Once it was out, she nodded at Tomimatsu – the drummer – who raised his sticks in the air, banging them as he counted off. “One, two, three, four!”

The instant (L/N) strummed her guitar, the rhythm booming against the speakers, he instantly knew the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INHq2GDnQQk) they were playing. It was more of a cover really, but he was amazed at how well they played together. Moreover, this is actually the first time he saw (L/N) play an instrument.

He’s so used to seeing her carrying them, but never _actually_ playing them. In last year’s cultural festival, he was sure the Light Music Club played some songs, but he missed out and did something else if he recalled.

She looked really cool playing, especially with how she grinned playfully with her bandmates at each chord progression. As she played, (L/N) looked like she was in her element; face relaxed, eyes bright, body swaying even as she played – a stark contrast from the one he saw at the beach.

Though her hair was tied, her bangs swished with every bob of her head to the beat of the music.

“Ah, I have a suggestion,” he called out after they finished playing. “I’d like to hear (L/N) sing.”

The girl blinked, head jerking back at the suggestion.

“Me?” Pointing dumbly to herself, she missed the exchange between Tomimatsu and Nozawa, the bassist whom he finally recognized as his senior’s younger brother. Hirugami nodded, almost excitedly.

Scrunching her nose, she turned to her club president, who only returned a pleading look on his face, clearly wanting to please. Rolling her eyes, she turned to the band and muttered a song under her breath.

Whistling at her [song choice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybluEqQTpKk), they went to it.

Interest piqued since they were reacting to her choice, Hirugami could hardly wait.

The instruments play at almost at the same time, a rather slow beat that was building up. Not realizing it, the members of the club around him began clapping to the beat.

Taking an inhale, (L/N)’s voice flows through the microphone, lyrics flowing seamlessly like poetry. People really sound a lot different when they speak and sing because her singing voice had an edge to it like there was more she could do with it. He didn’t know a lot about music, but it felt as though there was an emotional and technical feel to it.

And the song, there were layers to it.

He understood now why they reacted in such, it was _her_ song choice.

However playful and happy the piece was earlier, this, their song, made it feel like the room was alive.

What surprised him was how well she sang in English – even though she was foreign, she _had_ lived in Japan all her life mind you. She sang freely, confidently, almost mockingly with the lyrics she poured out. The rest of the band did not miss a beat, quick to follow up with her.

At her guitar solo, she was _killing_ it, as Hoshiumi would put it.

And damn, he has chills from her singing.

Truly, (L/N) was an interesting enigma.

After the song was over, (L/N) panted, a little out of breath from singing and playing, but elated.

Akamichi, and some members, clapped at their performance. Tomimatsu and Nozawa, bowed gratefully. (L/N) merely wore a tight smile before tilting her head, somewhat variant of a bow.

“Well, Hirugami-kun? What do you think?” Akamichi excitedly turned to the middle blocker, proud like a parent. “Aren’t they amazing?”

“Yeah, they are.” He says easily, eyes trailing after (L/N) who flipped off at the bassist and drummer. “Curiosity though: what kinds of genre do you usually play?”

“Pop!” someone sounded off.

“Indie!” said another, this time coming from their bassist, Nozawa.

“Ya like jazz?” Tomimatsu said, quoting some movie, which earned a whack in the head by an unamused (L/N).

“A little bit of all that,” Akamichi says with a sigh, deftly pushing his glasses back. “Each of our members has different music preferences and we try to switch it up time to time. We’re thankful that we have enough members and we get lots of opportunities to play.”

“ _Eh_ , that’s good to hear.”

“Senpai, I’ll be heading out first.” (L/N) calls, putting her guitar back in its case.

“Eh, already?” turned the older teen to her, bags already on her back.

“Yeah,” she says simply, quick to grab her things and head towards the door.

Hirugami was on his feet, following after (L/N), but not before thanking the club for their hospitality. By the time he left the room, (L/N) was out of the building.

Quickening his pace, he found her by the entrance, busy with her phone. “Hey, (L/N) wait up!”

She jumped at the sound of his voice, bringing her phone to her chest, turning to him with a frown. “What do you want now, Hirugami?”

“What, can’t I walk home with you?”

“No,” she answered dully, frowning still.

“Aww, too bad. I’m still gonna walk you.”

“Why?” sighing, she pulled up her phone, fingers tapping. 

“Can’t I?”

Peering up, clearly unamused, she blinked once. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”

“Cool. Not the first time I’ve heard that though,” he’s been called such by rival teams and even by his own teammates, so hearing it outside the court and from her was kind of refreshing to hear.

Rolling her eyes, she glanced at her phone one last time before locking and shoving it deep into her pocket.

He followed after her, matching her pace easily.

“Are you gonna head to the beach today again?”

“Fuck off, Hirugami.”

“How rude, and here I thought we were getting along smoothly.”

“Explain how you stalked me and infiltrated my club on the pretense that club practices were ‘canceled’” she added with air quotations for emphasis. “equate to us ‘getting along smoothly’?” she air quoted again, a bit too violently this time.

“Practices were _actually_ cancelled,” Hirugami tells her, rubbing the underside of his nose. “Coach’s wife was rushed to the hospital for a minor injury and he wanted us to take a rest at least, Inter-High was rough for us.”

Unconvinced, she looked forward. They walked in comfortable silence. On the train ride home, she was left to her own devices as she plugged in her ears, adamant on ignoring the tall brunet in front of her.

He didn’t mind. In fact, he was quite amused.

She was cute in her own way.

…

A few days later, he _did_ have practice.

But as soon as it was over, he walked over to the club building, betting his luck when he saw one of the rooms open. Climbing up the steps, he could faintly hear the music playing – it was rock, and (L/N) was playing.

Peering inside, he saw that she was on the bass this time, Akamichi was playing the piano, some member was doing the drums and guitar.

(L/N)’s singing was low and mellow, angsty-like.

He leaned against the wall, staying hidden until the song ended. There he remained, waiting, until he heard approaching voices and (L/N) jumped at the sight of him.

The next day, he was in for a surprise when he heard violin, which shouldn’t surprise him since he saw her bring a violin case that morning.

But the [song choice ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5RQJDoSfxA)though, it was…sad, longing, yearning, wistful.

He knew the song though, it was played a lot on the radio when he was younger, just wasn’t sure about the lyrics at the time because it was in English.

Peeking in it was just her and some third year on the piano, the rest of the members were listening in to them sing. Clearly, it was a cover piece, because as far as he remembers the original was much different than this. But their version though, it felt deeper, more emotional. Probably because of the piano and violin combo.

The girl on the piano had a pretty decent voice but compared to (L/N), she seemed average. Peeking another look in, blue came to his sight first, followed by her chin propped on her violin, a serene look graced her face as she gently pulled her bow. Faint wisps of the yawning afternoon sky filled in, painting her in soft hues. Delicate fingers shook and moved to the strings, mouth opening slightly to sing in a soft voice he wasn’t used to hear from her. She wasn’t the main singer, merely providing vocals, but it added weight to the song, like her violin.

Up until (L/N) did the vocables, voice getting softer and gentler with each ‘hmm’, Hirugami sagged against the wall, feeling the air leave his lungs. _Wow,_ he thought and said aloud.

The next day, he found (L/N) in her seat, slumped over her desk with her head in her arms. Sporting a jacket over her uniform with the hood, covering her frame.

Unused to seeing her like this, he tapped her shoulder, sluggishly, she looked up, there were bags in her eyes which stopped him cold. Usually, her (e/c) were alit with life and bright, one that didn’t really reach her eyes, but made her at least alive and stand out – with that sharp glint in them, especially with her blue-dyed hair.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Blinking her (e/c) eyes at him, with one hand she ran a hair through her hair, then rubbed at the undersides of her heavy eyes. Sitting up, letting the hood fall over her messy blue hair, she sighed-hummed, lips pursued. 

“Hn,” she replied, forcing her lips into a smile. A Duchenne smile.

Something in him felt unsettled by this for some reason, letting his hand fall to his side.

Unfortunately, he had volleyball practice that day. But it’s not like him bothering her would make her feel better. If anything, it might’ve made her even more annoyed by him (if she wasn’t already). Hirugami could be an asshole, but he’d at least know when to back off.

So off to practice he went but giving what probably was half the effort he usually gave off when his focus was elsewhere. (Hoshiumi was sure to call him out on it later on)

After practice, the team wanted to get some ramen. Or Takoyaki. Or okonomiyaki. Or takitori. They haven’t decided but he complied in the spirit and name of team camaraderie. (And because he was craving for something savory)

When they reached the strip mall, immediately the group fell into a debate on where they’d be eating which somehow then resulted in Hakuba and Hoshiumi arguing about something. Bessho watched the two argue in silent fascination, while the seniors – Suwa and Nozawa, took it upon themselves to decide where to eat.

Half-listening to what the two were fighting about now, Hirugami looked around, his eyes falling on plenty of items on display until his eyes caught on something.

Without thinking, he walked towards it and took the displayed item in his hand.

Fingering through the material, the twin flaps that reminded him of rabbits. He knew they were bows, but he felt like calling them flaps. Like, floppy ears. For rabbits. She was anything but, then again maybe she was. An angry little rabbit with a flair for music, blue-dyed hair, and tiny floppy ears.

He laughed at the idea as he approached the counter, taking his wallet out.

When he walked back to his friends, item tucked in his bag, they seemed to have calmed down a bit. Eventually, they decided on a noodle shop - with ramen or soba as their choices.

Muting out the noise of his friends, he leaned his head back and watched the flickering signposts of a café across them.

 _It'd look nice on her,_ he thought back to his purchase item.

The next time he visited, just as he announced his intrusion he noticed that _first_ , the room was relatively too quiet, and _second_ , she was the only one in the room, sitting by the windowsill, looking over with a ukulele in hand - ah, another of her talents. Absentmindedly strumming the chords, humming a tune every time her finger flew fret to fret, string to string, messy (h/c) and blue-dyed hair hovering over her face.

Brows furrowing, she let out a sigh – sounding almost aggravated, hugging the instrument close, chin resting on the body, eyes broodily staring down with a small frown. Her eyes, they were sadder, darker than the ones this morning. From the one a few days ago.

The brunet just thought of walking in when she picked her ukulele and, with a look her can only describe as one filled with determination, she licked her lips, began to strum.

Adding a few hums, Hirugami instantly knew the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I).

But when the first few strums play, she slumped, her singing was soft, quiet, a whisper for a usually happy and hopeful song. It was like she was singing to the wind, passing along a message, hoping the message would reach them. Slowly, her voice fades, gives up on the song, lyrics coming up, fingers plucking at the strings.

"I like that song," he said aloud, announcing her presence.

"Hirugami-!" nearly knocking the instrument off her hands, (L/N) hugged it close to her chest as she stepped away from the windowsill. Frowning, she huffed at him, Hirugami smiled unapologetically. “W-Wha- Why are you here?”

“Can’t I be?” he was met with her narrowed gaze. Shrugging, he looked around, noting the bags lying around. “Where is everyone?”

“Out,” she replied, hugging the ukulele to her chest. “Don’t you have practice?”

“No practice today,” he replied with a grin. She frowned.

“Don’t you have other things to do, then?”

“Yes.”

“Then why’re you here?”

“You’re ‘other things’,” he replied cheekily.

Stunned, for just a quick second, she schooled her expression, the left side of her eye twitched in disbelief. Hirugami laughed at said expression.

Rolling her eyes, she turned her side, deciding to let Hirugami do whatever he wanted.

"By the way, I got you something."

Turning her head, a slight frown marred her face. "Ah? Why? Did I miss something?"

"Nope, but just thought you might like it."

She contemplated his words, eyeing him warily still. Hugging her ukulele with one hand, she outstretched the other and opened her palm. Hirugami took out the item from his pocket, dropping it on her waiting hand.

Her frown relaxes, (e/c) eyes taking the item in. "...a scrunchie?"

"Ah, is that what they're called?"

No response. She stared at it for a while, the silence unnerving him a little.

Then, he noticed pink began to surface on her cheeks.

"(L/N), are you-"

"Say another word and I'll kick you out."

Relieved, elated, he could only chuckle.

Putting her ukulele away, she gathered her hair, walking in front of one of a mirror. Finger combing through her blue hair, fixing the top half into a messy-looking ponytail, securing the 'ears' so it was in the middle.

The black and white gingham contrasted against her hair, but it suited her just fine. Working on a smile, she looked over her shoulder to the middle blocker. "Thanks."

Something started in his chest, something Hoshiumi said a while back suddenly coming to mind. Quick to squander them, he teased her. Faintly, he felt the quickening, warming, and fluttering deep within his insides.

,,,

If anyone in the team noticed a difference in Hirugami, it was Hoshiumi.

But of course, it would be him, he was his best friend after all.

Not that it was a major change, just that he seemed… _happier_ than usual. His vacant, inquisitive eyes had more life to it, and he’s been humming a lot. Not that it wasn’t unnatural, Hirugami hummed a lot in response or when in thought, but he was humming _some song_.

Still, it was something worth noting.

“Oi, what’s your deal?” the ace asked the middle blocker, not one to beat around the bush.

Unperturbed by his loud friend, Hirugami hummed, feeling the weight of the water bottle in his hands, letting its contents swish. “I may have found myself an enigma.”

“A what?”

“Enigma, Kourai-kun.” He says simply, resting his hands on his lap. “Something like a puzzle,”

“That’s it?”

Smiling at his friend’s confusion, he pats him in the head.

“Maybe~”

Narrowing his eyes distrusting, he pointed a finger at him. “If this fucks up your routine, Imma put my foot down.”

“Nothing is being fucked up, Kourai-kun, I can assure you that.” Putting away his water bottle, he cheekily looks at the white-haired teen. “And what’re you gonna do with your foot down? Stand taller than me? We know that’s not happening.”

Hirugami had no problem holding Hoshiumi off, simply stopping him by a palm down on the crown of his head, securing him in place. Grinning coolly as the ace was making grabby hands at him.

So the next day, after morning practice, Hoshiumi was watching the brunet with careful eyes.

They weren’t really classmates, but whenever he’d pass by his eyes would make a quick scan to check on brunet. He’d have to peek in, considering his seat’s in a blind spot thanks to the wall he sat next to.

Lunchtime proved an opportunity though.

Walking down the hall with Hakuba, a fellow second year, they made their way to Hirugami’s classroom. Peeking in, he instantly spotted brunet talking to his seatmate, a girl with (h/c) roots and blue-dyed hair. They seemed to be discussing something over a shared earbud.

The usual vacant stare on his friend's face, accompanied by an annoying glint of indifference in his eyes, faded and relaxed - from the music shared, from the proximity of the two, from her, he didn't know.

Then, his friend made a comment that caused her to roll her eyes and pull her earphones off him, pocketing away. Standing, she made way for the doors where her friends waited just behind the ace.

“See you later, (L/N).”

Without looking, she flipped her finger at the middle blocker. The gesture made Hoshiumi chuckle, she had guts, he’ll give her that.

“Yo,” Hirugami greeted, lunchbox in hand.

“Who was that?” Hakuba asked, eyes following the girl who was being scolded again by her friend.

“A classmate,” the middle blocker replied easily, beginning to walk.

Recalling his friend saying something about an enigma, Hoshiumi watched the (h/c) and blue-dyed girl, her face scrunching at something her friend said before breaking into fits of laughter. Then he remembered freshmen year, except she didn’t have blue-dyed tips or piercings on her ears, or that whenever her friends weren’t looking, her face then was more blank than it was wistful now.

“An enigma, huh?”

Hirugami turned to his friend, having heard what he said. “Hmm?”

“Nah, nothing.”

When they walked back after lunch, and blue-dyed hair came to view, Hoshiumi couldn’t help himself.

“Oi, you with the blue hair!”

Startled, (L/N) turned, surprised at the trio of volleyball players heading her way. Hirugami did little to stop his friend, observing coolly instead with an amused smile spread across his face.

“What’s your name?”

(E/c) eyes dart from the loud boy in front of her to the tall brunet behind him, he all but gave a nonchalant shrug, eyes giving off some sort of warning.

“Um, (L/N) (Y/N)…”

Hoshiumi hums, eyes taking her in.

She doesn’t look away, despite the growing discomfort of being on the receiving end of his intense gaze.

“I see. Then, I’ll take my leave. Later, Gao, Sachirou.”

“Yeah, later.”

Confused, Hakuba bows at the startled girl, giving the middle blocker a look, before walking off to his classroom. Hirugami sighs at Hoshiumi’s exit, walking up to (L/N).

“Sorry about him, (L/N).”

“W-What was that about? Did you tell your club members something weird about me?”

“No, no,” he waved off reassuringly, her tone had been accusing and confused. “they’re just curious is all.”

“Huh, curious.” She repeats with a raised brow, narrowing her (e/c) eyes at him with the same accusation and confusion.

“Um, (Y/N)-chan.” Remembering her friends, the blue-dyed girl turns to them quickly. “We’ll be taking our leave now. See you later?”

“Ah, yeah. Sorry about that, guys-”

“Yeah, sorry!” Hirugami interjects, much to her annoyance, pressing his palms over his chest.

Her friends giggle at Hirugami before waving off, walking towards their rooms.

(L/N) turns to him, expression crossing between annoyed, confused, and amused, before walking into their classroom. Hirugami happily follows after her.

“So, what did you think of her?” Hirugami asked Hoshiumi later during practice.

“She's kinda cool,” he tells him, twisting his water bottle close. “just a bit rough for your type, though.”

Hirugami hums, lips puckered in thought.

“My type, huh?”

“Are you gonna ask her out?”

The brunet hummed, inspecting his nails. “She confessed to me last year.”

Hoshiumi nearly choked on his water at that, eyes widening. “W-What!?” but Hirugami was standing, walking back to the court. “Oi-”

“Come on, Coach is calling~”

“Damn it, were not done talking- Sachirou!”

…

(E/c) eyes blinked at the teen in front of her, who seemed to be sizing her up despite being just a few inches shorter than him, his piercing eyes were unnerving, threatening to swallow her whole.

“Yo, (L/N).” Came the 169 cm ace's supposedly casual and 'no-way-threatening' greeting.

(E/c) blinked again. “Um, hi…” the paused drawled, unintentionally, before she added. “…Hoshiumi.”

Hoshiumi’s olive eyes had an intense gaze to them, taking her in, trying to understand Hirugami’s perception of her being an enigma. As his best friend, it was his sole duty to make sure that this girl wasn’t some hack and didn’t warp Hirugami into some strange shit, just because he’s suddenly interested in her – _no_ , he’s not jealous, okay? He just wants what's best for his buddy.

Then, something caught his eye – something black and white.

Ransacking his brain, he vaguely recalled Hirugami walking off from the group when they were at the strip mall, coming back with an item he hid away. Hunger made him forget to ask about said item, which soon faded until it came back to him, seeing as it had secured her blue-dyed hair.

 _Huh_.

Okay then.

Taking a step forward, he took out his hand. Behind him, Hirugami could only watch in continued interest and curiosity. (L/N) was still standing, looking worried at the two volleyball players.

Something then landed on top of her head, Hoshiumi was patting her head. Once. Twice. Then broke into a wide grin. “You’re alright, (L/N).”

Blinking rapidly, ever so slowly she tilted her head to the side. “…okay?”

Roaring in laughter, the white-haired teen waved off, leaving the two alone.

(L/N) turned to him, accusation in her eyes. “Seriously, _what the fuck_ did you tell your teammates about me?”

“Only good things, I promise.”

“I don’t believe you,” She narrowed her eyes at him, arms crossed. “It’s written all over your face!”

“Trust me when I say that I’ll never taint your good name.”

She scoffed, pocketing her hands. “And trust _me_ when I say I’m anything but. Just take a fucking good look at me.”

“Are you going to the beach today?”

Looking over his shoulder, seeing his best friend and (L/N) going off, Hoshiumi felt settled.

He may not understand what it was about (L/N), but he at least trusted his best friend’s judgment. Yep, there was something interesting about her.

For now, Hoshiumi 100% approved of (L/N) (Y/N).

…

A sigh left her mouth as she stared at the glittering blue sea. The wind sighed back, gently whipping at her hair, blue-dyed hair would have flown everywhere had she not tied it into a low ponytail. Its cool breeze, however, kissed at her cheeks, her skin. Wetting her lips, she could almost taste the brine and seawater.

Everything was quiet, comfortably quiet.

Overhead, the seagulls were singing, the waves were gently pushing. Breathing in the cold air, she felt molecules of it cooling her warm insides, before exhaling them, letting molecules of her own out and into the wind.

“I knew you’d be here,” a voice called out.

And then it wasn’t quiet anymore.

Groaning loudly, she lifted and dropped her shoulders, head pulling back. Hirugami laughed at this.

“Aww, come on, don’t be so dramatic, it’s only me.”

Turning away from the waters, she mutters with a frown. “That’s the problem, it’s _you_.”

Skies painted in vibrant hues, the golden sun slowly descending down the horizon, letting its light glimmer among the waves, the gentle salty breeze touching his skin - Hirugami instantly found himself at ease, understanding in perfect clarity why someone like (Y/N), an enigma of a person, would come here often. Something black and white caught his eye – it was the scrunchie he gave her. His lips stretch into a smile at this. Now that he thinks about it, since he gave it to her, she’s been using it a lot. But when she’s not using it, she has it on her wrist like a bracelet, fiddling with the ‘floppy ears’, when deep in her thoughts. It suited her, softened her looks.

“I’m sorry about Kourai-kun, earlier. He just gets…” he pauses, thinking of a word.

“Intense?” she supplied, kicking at the sand, watching them scatter into the air.

“Curious.”

She frowned at that. “He doesn’t seem like the curious type t’me.”

Shrugging easy, he just as easily replies. “Everyone gets curious at some point.”

She stared at him for a second before replying, “Like you?”

When he didn’t reply, simply smiling at her, she rolled her eyes, exhaling through her nose. “Great,”

“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.”

“It is and it isn’t,” shooting him a look, peering him up and down. “because y’know, curiosity killed the cat.”

“Ah,” he nods. “that may be true. But it also keeps us going and a powerful thing.”

Her face doesn’t relax at his words, rather, they seem to pinch slightly, as though his wording was all wrong. "You're rather pessimistic, aren't you?" he queried, incredulously, wonderment, pouting slightly at her words.

She gave him a look, (e/c) eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "So? Better than being an idyllic optimist."

He laughed at that, agreeing.

“That’s true.” Slowly, he fell into step with her. “Too much optimism – false optimism, if you may, can be deadly. But one should have a healthy dose of pessimism to counteract.”

Mulling over his words, the crunch of their shoes in the sand, she looked up from the sand and met his gaze. "And you’re a realist."

"Right on the money, (Y/N)!"

"Don't make it as though we're in a game show!”

The two argued more, leaving trails of their footsteps threatening to be washed away by the waves.

…

_Give me sunshine, make me happy._

_…_

**SUMMER.**

It became a sort of a recurring thing now: Hirugami would trail after (L/N). Whenever he didn’t have practice, he’d wait for her and they’d walk home together (She’d be angry with him first, though. Honestly, she still was. But after the fourth or fifth time? She got around it and let him be).

If Hirugami turned to like her, he didn’t say. Simply, he smiled it off and left it at that. In fact, their relationship was intriguing to everyone in and out of their circle. Ambiguous as it was, Hirugami would like to think that they were friends. (L/N) would think otherwise, often referring him as a Yandere or stalker.

She had tried to get rid of him, especially when she was off to her club for practice, but he’d insist on staying. Unfortunately, he won over everyone in her club so he was allowed to visit whenever he pleased.

If he had practice, he’d fuss over her via text. He’d sometimes text her, relentlessly. With no other choice, she’d reply. And they’d be texting. (Sometime before the first day of class after spring break, he managed to get her number)

Sometimes, Hoshiumi would up and invite her to join them for lunch. At first – well, the first few times actually, she turned them down. Still weirded out by the fact that _somehow,_ she’s acquainted with people she never bothered with before. The team seemed to like her, though.

Hirugami had noticed that her lunches were mostly convenience store-bought. When asked, she’d keep quiet then mention her mom being too busy and tired to make one for her, she was also too lazy to cook. Some days one of her friends would take turns making an extra bento just to feed her. Oh yeah, he also won over her friends.

Despite not having a clear label on their relationship – or lack thereof, (L/N) was pretty cool to hang with. She was blunt, pessimistic, broody, and fun to tease.

It’s not always that Hirugami pestered her (her words), he _was_ a busy student-athlete after all. Life seemed to go on for (L/N) without Hirugami around, but it felt kinda lonely for him. He rather liked spending time with her.

Slowly but surely, he was getting on her good side. And the awkwardness or guard they had (at least for her) was down, settling into an easy friendship.

At times when she would drone off to music during free time, if she felt generous, she’d share a bud with her, and they’d listen to her music together. At most, she’d listen to pop-punk, bluegrass, rock, or alternative music. But if she was in the mood for something lighter, she went for classical or indie – pop, rock, alternative. International or local music.

He got to learn more about music because of her – its many genres and some interesting artists he added to his playlist. More often than not, he'd drop by the Light Music Club when he had time, just to pester her, listening to them play or her sing. 

Taking into consideration the pieces he’s heard her sing; her choices were always on the edgy sort of the spectrum like she was trying to vent something.

“Who hurt you?” he had asked as they shared an umbrella later that day.

From a pinched expression, it relaxes, fumbling under what little shelter they had from the pouring rain. She sighed, tapping at the handle of her violin case.

“Life did.”

“Ah, just like every teen.” But for a mere moment, he could have sworn he saw her (e/c) darken then soften.

Rolling her eyes, she bumped her shoulder with his. “Typical, I know.”

Soft summer rain painted the skies in soft pastels, pleasing to the eye had it not been accompanied by the humid weather.

"But you're not any typical teen, (Y/N)."

Something glinted in her eyes, her mouth twitching before it lifted into a crooked grin. "Yeah, maybe."

For some reason, seeing the relaxed expression on her usually, sullen face lightened his heart.

It was sometime around then that he began calling her by her first name, not that she seemed to mind. At first, it kind of surprise her. However, she let it slide after a few seconds. (He swore he saw her face reddened but didn't say no more)

The fact that she had confessed to him back when they were freshmen never escaped his mind, but he thought nothing of it. Or rather, he didn’t really think much about it. After all, what was he going to make out of it now?

She still called him ‘Hirugami’ though, not that he seems to mind. (Maybe he did, a bit) Only that whenever she called him that it wasn’t in question, skeptical, bland-like, or veiled with disgust, just simply, light and easy ‘Hirugami’.

She still goes to the beach in Niigata every Friday, but never really got a clear reason as to why. She just does. It was the one thing he couldn't ask just yet, remembering the somber look in her face, contrasting the relief, lively sparkle in her eyes. Just being there was a contrast to all her beings, if that even made sense.

Over the past few days, he learned that they lived in the same area, which was only a station away from their school. A 30-minute train ride, give or take.

But once they reach their station, that’s about it and she rushes off. Absolutely refusing to let him near her area, let alone walk her.

Months of friendship and he thought he had her all figured out. There were still things she kept about herself, huh? Still an enigma.

“What’re you looking at?”

The gentle pitter-patter of the rain drowns out the noise all around them with the occasional splish-splash from their shoes on the wet ground. But her voice cut through loud and clear.

He’d been staring without realizing it, lost in his thoughts about the enigma that is (L/N) (Y/N) and their rather interesting relationship. Instead of answering, he asks: “do they hurt?”

“Huh?”

“Your piercings,” he pointed at her left ear with his free hand, where she had four, three on her right.

Releasing a hold of her violin case, fingers froze just inches away from her ears before settling to finger at them. (L/N) looking lost in thought. “Past tense. It _did_ hurt. For like, six months.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. But the lower lobe’s not that painful unless you have a baby bitch pain tolerance.”

Hirugami ‘ahs’ at her response, filing another fact about the enigma that is (L/N) (Y/N) away in his brain. And because he’s Hirugami, and he just couldn’t help himself, he asks: “Can you pierce me?”

“ _Ha?!_ ”

...

For someone perceptive, Hirugami sure could be a blockhead sometimes. Hoshiumi thought as he watched his friend excuse himself, following after a red-in-the-face underclassman during lunchtime – of all times!

Darting his eyes to blue – (L/N), who sat beside him, he leaned over and asked. “Doesn’t it bother you?” voice hushed for once as he dully watched his best friend and some girl.

Over time, their group of friends settled in and formed a comfortable friendship. And somewhere in their table, Hakuba was making a fool out of himself trying to impress one of (L/N)’s friends. (L/N) looked up from her lunch and pauses, digesting his words even though he’s sure she heard him. She falls silent for a few seconds, following his gaze to the tall brunet. “I don’t know, should it?”

“I mean, _you_ like him first, you called on dibs.”

She scoffed, actually scoffed at that, then rolled her eyes. “ _Dibs_? What is he, some lunch meat?”

“Well!” the ace caught himself, just as he slammed his fists on the table, not wanting the attention of people (for once) for a personal matter. “You know what I mean!”

At that, she half-smiles, eyes looking back to the brunet before working on what’s left of her lunch. “It was just a crush, Hoshiumi.”

“Was it really,” he droned dryly.

To which, she shrugged.

Hoshiumi felt like ruffling his hair out of frustration, that is until she adds. “You’re his best friend, you should know that he’s famous with girls and that _I’m not the only one_ who’s confessed to him. And in the end, it's _his_ choice.”

“Yeah, but-“he pauses but was stopped by her vacant stare, lips pulling into a final smile before returning to her phone. _It’s different with you,_ is what he wanted to say. He's _seen_ the way his best friend looks at her, noticed how he naturally just gravitates over to her when she's around, sees the two go back and forth with their words like it was nothing, _knows_ even that there was something in there before his blockhead of a friend even realizes it - _for once_! But (L/N) forcibly made the final say, either not wanting to hear anymore or just wanting to put an end to their conversation.

He cursed under his breath; brows pinched together.

_Oh well, scratch that._

When Hirugami returns to their table, laughing airily as the group welcomed him back – (L/N) gave him a slight nod, the underclassman behind them watched the brunet with sad eyes before walking off. The white-haired teen darts his eyes back to blue, too engrossed in her phone, she missed Hirugami sneaking behind her, hands carefully holding on to the sides of her chair before pulling it backward, scaring the ever-living shit out of (L/N), who screamed bloody murder. With her seat returned upright, she quickly around to try to punch him. Hirugami broke out laughing, heartily, easily blocking out her punches.

Inwardly and outwardly, Hoshiumi growled, shaking his head at the two. Both of them were fucking helpless!

…

Now that they're wearing their summer uniforms, Hirugami - and the rest of the student body, could probably agree with him when he says, 'what a relief'.

Summer in Japan was swelting, unforgivable, per usual. Living in a mountainous region like Nagano has provided them enough cool to last them a year, especially during winters. But somehow, summer found a way to just bury the whole prefecture in extreme heat. Again, thankfully, Nagano has enough cool temperature, thanks to the mountains closing in, to survive the sweltering heat. And thankfully, the nights were cool. (Thank you again mountains)

And so was the rain.

In the 7-day weather forecast, he tuned to earlier that day, it said that there was a 70% chance of rain shower for a third of the week. Thunder gently rumbled from the downcast skies threatening to swallow the bright blue skies, the room exploded into a series of groans and murmurs – all because it was going to be another rainy day.

“Ugh, I hate rain.”

“Right?”

“Man, I hope I brought my umbrella today.”

“Ah man, how are the laundries gonna dry now.”

“Damn, this must mean no baseball practice, huh?”

Beside him, a head of blue rested against her folded arms, unperturbed by the noise. Miraculously, even as she dozed off in the middle of the discussion, she hadn’t been called out on it.

When the bell rang, announcing lunchtime. Hirugami turned to his side, about to wake her up, but (L/N) was already up, a sleepy frown on her face as she ran her hand through her hair. Smiling, he stood up and waited for her to follow suit.

When they reached their lunch table, his eyes widened when she took out a wrapped bento box. A wrapped bento box. Wrapped. Bento. Box. That was hers.

(Y/N) was eating. From a bento. That _she_ brought.

Everyone, that is everyone on their lunch table, had their eyes widened at the sight of it. Even as she arranged her bento and picked her chopsticks.

“What!?” she said finally, uncomfortable with the silence and the eyes on her.

“Y-You brought bento…” her friend, Suzu, points.

“So?”

“You’ve never brought your own bento before.” Hakuba seconds, surprisingly having noticed on this.

Flushing, her cheeks puff, angrily folding her hands before her, muttering “Itadakimasu,” then takes a stab of one of the many rice rolls.

“You don’t normally have a bento of your own,” Hirugami casually throws in. “I mean, you normally just buy a sandwich or-“

“I get it, okay!?” she yells, still red in the face. Dropping her chopsticks angrily, she takes a roll with her fingers and shoves them in her mouth. “I can’t help it, my neighbor just gave them to me and I couldn’t say no to her!”

The table ‘ahhs’ collectively, slowly turning to their own lunches. (Y/N) angrily munches on her meal, red slowly dying down.

"(Y/N), slow down, you'll choke," the brunet reminds her, watching her cheeks puff with food.

Still chewing, she slowly swallows, frowning still at the rice rolls. “Why is it such a big deal if I have a bento of my own anyway?”

Hirugami laughs quietly, observing the neatly made rolls. “Like I said, you usually don’t bring a bento of your own. And you flat out refuse to take any one of our meals. Some days, you have convenience store-bought food for lunch. You also don't really eat a lot during lunch, (Y/N). And that's no good."

"W-Wha-!? Fuck you, I eat plenty!"

"Nope. Yesterday you ate a sandwich. Keyword: _a_ sandwich. Singular." He says point blank, gaze serious, even as he slurped on his drink. _Loudly_.

Across them, one of her friends asks: “What are they fighting about now?”

Hoshiumi shrugged, angrily taking a bite of his meal. “Beats me,”

“What is it though?” Hirugami inquired curiously, noticing how she’s eating them two at a time.

“Gimbap,” she replied after swallowing. “My neighbor’s Korean," she starts, frowning at how the words came out. "I mean, she's also the landlord. She just caught me leaving the house then proceeded to hand these over to me because she's worried I'm not eating much. Some days, she’d invite me over for barbeque or give us extras.”

It feels as though there was a crack to her hard exterior, giving Hirugami a peep in.

He's genuinely surprised at how much she just shared, knowing how guarded she is. “That sounds nice~ Your neighbor, huh?" So, he hums, eyeing again the rolls and how healthy it looked with its assortment of vegetables and meat. "They look neat. Mind if I take a bite?’

“Sure.”

Once Hirugami popped one in his mouth, eyes alit at how delicious it was, Hakuba voiced that he wanted a bite, reaching out to grab one for himself before Hoshiumi, Bessho, and Suzu, and a few others stopped him. The two teens gave their friends strange looks, especially at Hoshiumi and Hakuba, who for some reason started fighting.

Later that day, just before the sixth period starts, the rain pours. (Y/N) curses beside him, watching the heavens pour. “I fucking forgot my umbrella,”

Luckily, Hirugami brought his. Cautious as he is, he almost never leaves without one.

"Come on, get under this umbrella," he called out through the pouring rain, a frown marring her face. "Unless _you_ want to hold this time, I don't mind," he added cheekily.

Giving him a blank stare, she stepped into the umbrella, mumbling a 'thanks' under her breath.

He was so tall, enough for her guitar case backpack to stand under their shared umbrella. It must be genes, she thought, after all, he came from a long line of volleyball players.

"You're welcome. Man, is it pouring, huh?"

Nodding, she reaches out a hand, watching water splattering on her fingers. "It's been pouring a lot, recently."

"Must be a storm coming,"

Around them, students walked about, some holding bearing umbrellas in ones or twos. There were even a few who had raincoats on.

"You don't seem happy about it," she noted.

Shaking his head, the brunet explained. "Not really. Pan just doesn't like rain."

At the mention of his dog, (Y/N)'s expression softens. "Poor guy."

Every once in a while, she’d happen upon the white Akita, who was ecstatic at the sight of the girl. One time, she saw them at the park with some of the volleyball team and spent some time with them – mostly with Pan. She grew to love that fluff puff of his.

"By the way, don't you have practice?" she asked, just as they left the school gates.

"Ah, but we're allowed breaks, too, you know."

If she remembered correctly, they had exams just before the start of their Inter-High, she knew this, because either Nozawa (the bassist from her club, younger brother of one of the players), Hoshiumi, or her friends mentioned it.

However, this was Hirugami Sachirou, he was in a college preparatory class like her, who obviously excelled academically and was a known athlete (according to her friends).

“Must be hard balancing academics and sports,”

“Hm, not really. I’m pretty used to it. All there is to it is just discipline.” He lays out, as though it were the simplest thing.

“Well, not everyone can be as disciplined and perfect as you.”

"It's not _that_ hard."

"Fuck you for thinking that."

"No really." he defends, tone bleeding a bit of his former self.

"No, you're forgetting that people have different mindsets and are not perfectionists like you."

It was reminiscent of Hoshiumi's words all those words ago, just nonverbatim, the tone was there and slightly accusatory, he couldn't help but grin. 

Humming, the two stop at a right light, watching as cars pass them by. Feeling something vibrate, (Y/N) fished for her phone, eyes skimming over the text. Absentmindedly, he tapped at the umbrella handle, watching the numbers count backwards.

"Wanna watch our game sometime?"

Looking up from her phone, (e/c) eyes blinking. He waited patiently, anticipating her answer.

"Is it fun?"

"You make it sound like sports are supposed to be boring," he says in offense, pouting at her.

Pocketing her phone away with a roll her eyes, she tilted her head to her side in thought, strands of blue-dyed hair falling against her face. Hirugami's eyes watched the strands fall, framing her face and kissing her round cheeks. Feeling his fingers twitch, he buried his free hand deeper into his pockets.

"I dunno. They're kinda loud."

"Like playing music isn't just as loud."

"Excuse me, at least they're controlled. There's a lot of noise to take in during matches, just so you know! Some are even a tad obnoxious and a pain to my ears!"

He hummed, delighting at how quick it was to rile her up.

"So…is that a yes?"

“Hn, I dunno." turning her head, she shrugged. "Maybe.”

Eventually, though, she _did_ come to watch one of his games. During Inter-High.

Kamomedai was a powerhouse school, one of the best - if not, in their whole prefecture. They had a lot in their arsenal – an all-arounder ace, boasting the best defense in the whole country and nasty serves one after the other! (All these were information fed to her by her friends, by the way. Wow, sports is amazing.)

Truly though, Hirugami was something to behold on the court.

Despite being an all-smiles troll of a guy, on the court, he was _terrifying_. Nothing goes past him, he isn’t easily fooled, and artfully lives up to his name of being immovable in terms of block. 

Of course, she had to give his teammates some credit.

Hoshiumi was a beast, for one so small. (Although, Hirugami forewarned her from telling that to his face). Hakuba was awkward to watch at times, being the least experienced player but made up for his plays. Bessho was a frightening first year, for one who says so little. Suwa and Nozawa complemented their juniors in plenty of ways, as did Kanbayashi, who was quick to keep the ball from hitting the ground.

Overall, though, she did commend the team’s mental fortitude. Even as the games grew increasingly heated, not once have they been under pressure despite facing strong opponents, they were always in their best shape that allowed them to keep scoring. Peering over at the benches, a smiling Coach Murphy could be seen with a happy grin in and out of plays. 

After their match, she and her friends walked down to meet the team (some were actually annoyingly nudging her towards the famed middle blocker).

“(Y/N),” Hirugami started at the sight of her, the high from playing replaced by something else. “uh, hey.”

For once, he didn’t have anything smart to say to her. It brought a smile to her face, tilting her head in greeting.

“Nice game,” she said, head straightening, letting the blue-dyed hair settle on her shoulders. “you guys were awesome out there.”

“That’s what I like to hear, (L/N)!” Hoshiumi practically screamed, eyes shining.

“Especially you, Hoshiumi! You’re a beast!” turning to the white-haired teen, she gushed excitedly. “You definitely earned the title of ‘Little Giant’!”

Hoshiumi’s ego was practically over the roof, chest-puffing with pride. Kanbayashi and the rest of the third years walked off, wanting to be away from their ace.

“How about me, (L/N)?” Hakuba asked, towering over them, an expectant look on his face.

“Hakuba," turning to the taller lad, her expression softens a bit, sucking at her teeth. "I don’t know how to tell you this man, but you played _really_ awkward out there.”

The taller teen deflated, much to the amusement of his teammates. Hirugami patted the taller teen’s shoulder’s consolingly, darting her a smile. She had no filter whatsoever.

“And me?” he asked, expectantly.

Folding her arms over her chest, she looked him up and down. “You’re definitely a lot different when you’re playing.’

“So, good different or a bad different?”

Humming, she shrugged one shoulder, her lips set thinly. “You’re indifferent, make it what you will.”

He let her words sink, nodding at them. Noticing the glint in her (e/c) eyes, grinning toothily at her.

On the side, their friends could only watch hopelessly at the two teens. Hoshiumi, especially, was shaking his hands violently at the two. (L/N)'s friends smiled sympathetically at the two, and Hakuba could only wonder what was going on.

...

**LATE SUMMER.**

Taking off her socks and shoes, she set her things aside and walked towards the waters.

Sinking into the sand, the cool waters washed over, and she looked down at the crystalline remnants hidden between tiny rocks.

Feeling a rush, she walked on until she was knee-deep in.

Sometimes, she just wondered – her thoughts were much clearer whenever she was here, the soft breeze against her skin, the sound of crashing waves, seagulls, the feel of coarse sand.

Her mind would go overdrive with all her thinking, going so deep she was sure she’d never come back.

Thinking.

She would always think.

“Hey, don’t go off too far now,” a voice called behind her.

Still smiling, she rolled her eyes even though he couldn’t see her, letting the water lap at her skin.

“I know you just rolled your eyes at me,”

“Dear God, you’re such a piece of shit.” She called back, turning to him. Hirugami laughed, hands in his jersey jacket pocket as he watched her from the shoreline. He debated joining her but thought against it.

Ah, what the hell.

Dropping his things next to hers, he toed off his shoes, slipped off his socks, and rolled up his jogging pants.

Feeling the sand against his feet was weird, he hated being at the beach for such a reason. Closing in the waters, a satisfied breath left his mouth. After a long day, this was plenty nice.

_This was nice._

“Nice of you to join me,” she called from her spot, leaning back with her arms spread to the sea.

“The water looked inviting,” he reasoned, taking a few steps in, watching the ripples with every step. Stopping just a foot by her, his eyes set on forward, marveling at the quietness of the moment.

“I can see why you like coming here now,” she replied with a hum, the corners of her lips lifting.

Eyes fluttering close, she leaned her head back, blue-dyed hair - free from the scrunchie he gave her, as it rested on her wrist - slipping off her shoulders one by one. Hirugami wanted to reply with a tongue-in-cheek response, anything to rile her but found the words dying in his throat. Instead, brown eyes followed each strand, shining under the daybreak light, a cascade of blue under this light. He liked her hair like this when it was free and out. Feeling his fingers twitch, he raised them, moving the remaining strands of hair on her shoulder aside, fingers feeling the smoothness tracing down to its ends.

Her eyes opened, (e/c) on him, he found himself wanting to lose in them.

"Your hair's getting longer," he tells her, pulling his hands back. She hums, twirling around in her spot, letting her hair fly.

"I'm debating if I want to change color or go au naturale."

Humming, he grabs her arm, stopping her. "Careful, you'll get dizzy!" he laughs, seeing her hair swat into her face.

Laughing back, she pulls away and playfully splashes his way. He was quick to dodge, splashes back in turn.

"No!"

"Never underestimate a volleyball player~"

Squealing, she backed from him. “Hey, Hirugami! Knock it off!”

Laughing, he gave chase, uncaring of the splashes. “You started it!”

From where they stood, the old couple laughed at the youngsters running in the waters.

“They’ll catch a cold at this rate.”

“Dear, don’t ruin the moment.”

_…_

_She looks pretty in this light._

_..._

**FALL, 2012.**

As expected, Kamomedai won Inter-High and were on their way to the Qualifiers Round to play at Nationals. Which was still going to be sometime in late October. Until then, the team returned to their lives as students busying themselves with academics and whatnot. Also, it meant exams! A hellish week spent studying until you've worked your brain out from storing too much information until you're rewarded with, everyone's most-awaited, the culture festival.

(Y/N) was talking with some classmates about what the Light Music Club was doing for the culture festival, she was sure to sing in.

“You do know that it’s we’re still well over August and that the culture festival’s in October, right?”

“That’s just a few days from now, you know!” Hirugami pipped in, inserting himself in the conversation. Sneering at his intrusion, the brunet could only smile good-naturedly at (Y/N), resting his chin on his folded hands on the broom handle.

“True, true! What Hirugami-kun says!”

“You also _do_ know that I’m not the only member of the Light Music Club, right?”

“Yeah, but you’re the only one we know.”

“But you’re the most talented!”

“Yeah! I remember last year’s cultural festival, it was so awesome!”

Hirugami tried to remember where he was last year when he hadn’t noticed the enigma that was (L/N) (Y/N).

“It was a battle of the bands, right?”

“Yes, I remember that!”

“Except (L/N)-chan was on all the time! On the drums, on the keyboard, on the guitar, on the bass! So cool!”

“So, you took a gander that I am, quote, the most talented, unquote?”

“That should be obvious enough, (L/N)-chan!”

She stares, unamused. When someone called out to take the trash out, she volunteered, securing an excuse from the conversation.

When she left, the classmates talked among themselves. With (Y/N) out of the conversation, Hirugami returned to cleaning.

“(L/N)-san’s really hates it when the conversation’s about her, huh?”

“Well, she seems rather closed-off, but still so nice!”

“Hirugami-kun’s close with her, though!”

Sucking his teeth, he winced at the word – _close_. “Close, huh?”

“I mean, you’re _always_ together and you’ve been walking home together sometimes, too.”

“I even heard from Nozowa-kun that you drop by their club room a lot!”

He was tempted to ask _which_ Nozawa they were talking about, but thought against it.

“Do you like her, Hirugami-kun?”

Wow, girls sure were pushy. They also don’t know a thing about boundaries, privacy, or personal space!

Thankfully, he was put out of his misery by a save from Captain Suwa.

“So, what _is_ your club planning for the culture festival?” he asked later that day, walking side by side.

Groaning, she fixed him an exasperated look. “Not you too.”

“Please?” she rolls her eyes, taking her phone out of her pocket. “Pretty please?” he tries again.

“Why are you trying to make a word sound pretty?” she mutters as she frowns at her phone, fingers sliding and tapping.

“Is it a crime to know things?”

Leaves crunched under their feet with every step, the trees around turning brown and yellow. And yet, her blue hair continues to stand out from the rest.

Putting her phone away, she lightly hits him with the edge of her violin case, smirking lightly. "Just wait and see dummy."

In the end, The Light Music Club did an acoustic live performance for one yen. Hirugami may or may have requested some songs, maybe one too many, to be sung by (Y/N). A the end of the day, they ended up earning A LOT.

...

“Hey, Hirugami, remember when I liked you?”

Startled, he turned to her, a guitar propped on her lap, fingers working on the keys to tuning her guitar with a look of complete nonchalance, as though the question had not been laced with equal amounts of curiosity and absent wonder.

“Why bring this up so sudden?”

“Just felt like it," she shrugged "humor me.”

“Okay. Why _did_ you like me?”

Leaning back as she inhaled, with an exhale, her shoulders dropped, back still tilted back, letting the (h/c) and blue strands fall off. “Because you tell it like it is, you don’t play with words. It’s always the truth - plain and simple. Never one that dances around and toys you into delirium.”

Her words were scaring him, something sinister in her choice of words. She, however, giggled silly at her words, leaning forward then back, resting on her palms. "So, yeah. I liked you for being you. Pretty simple, huh?"

_Just like that, huh?_

And then, (Y/N) was strumming absentmindedly at her guitar, playing a random tune. He remembered seeing her play at the culture festival, looking so carefree and in her element. Watching her was kind of addicting, especially when he caught the black-and-white scrunchie holding her blue hair back, as though to stake his claim on her. At the thought, he couldn't help scrunching his nose, those were Hoshiumi's words, not his.

Falling to his side, head against her shoulder, he sighed. (Y/N) tensed a bit, but eventually relaxed, leaving him be.

A tousle of his brown hair tickled her cheek, surprisingly soft and smelling faintly of mint.

“Hey, (Y/N), play a song for me?”

“Careful, I might play metal.” She joked.

“I don’t mind,” he says quietly, the gentle timbre of her voice cutting through all the noise surrounding them.

To his shock, she didn’t sing him metal. Instead, gentle strumming progressing, she set her [gaze to the moon ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zouSojyIi94)peeking through the clouds, the clouds were a purple contrasting blue, silvery light threatened to shine down but filtered out by the clouds – dedicating it to the moon. 

It was quiet, peaceful, the world seemingly coming to a still.

Her blue hair looked different under this light, painting her with a sort of grace, soft, gentle mien. The white-and-black ribbon keeping her hair from completely spilling over definitely contrasted her features.

He hadn’t realized that it was getting late, his mom and sister were sure to wonder where he was, but couldn’t find himself to mind, not when he was listening to her sing to the moon. Her voice sounding angelic and pleasing as it always was.

Ah, he was getting jealous now. Such a pleasing tune, with such whimsical lyrics, accompanied by the sweetest voice serenading something equivalent to a floating rock hundreds and thousands of miles away from them.

He closed his eyes, letting her voice lull him.

(He also hadn't realized how his heart softened, calmed just staying by her side.)

…

 _Ah, so_ this _is what it feels like…_

…

**Winter, 2013.**

Weeks after Nationals, Hirugami was climbing the stairs, feeling giddy with every step as he was picking up (Y/N) when, “Hey, (L/N)...I like you.”

Hirugami stopped, hand froze on the door handle. There was an intake of air, from her. Judging from the voice, this was Nozawa, the bassist, his senior’s younger brother, her club mate.

“...is this why you never bothered calling me 'senpai'?”

The younger boy laughed at that, before yelping after a smack. “Ow, that hurts! Ow, ow, _ow_! But yes!”

A beat.

“Nozawa...”

There was a strained laugh from the younger Nozawa. “I’m sorry for putting you on the spot like that, (L/N), I just wanted to say it out loud. For once. I mean," A pause. "seeing you play made me fall for you. It's like you play and sing your heart out." Another pause. Deep inside him, he was fearful of taking a step and looking in. Of what her expression would be. "You don’t have to worry about returning my feelings, by the way.”

Nozawa Shingo.

He had to admit, the boy had guts.

Hirugami stood out there, listening in, feeling a little dirty for eavesdropping on a heartfelt confession. A little while later, he turned and quietly left the building.

_I liked you for being you. Pretty simple, huh?_

On the train ride home, the two stood on opposite sides of the train door. His eyes took her in, her growing medium-length (h/c) and blue-dyed hair framing a pretty face. Bobbing to the beat of her music, she hugged her guitar bag close to her chest as the train gently swayed.

_Were things supposed to change by now?_

Somewhere deep inside him, he felt unsettled. And it might have to do with that confession he accidentally overhead, or the way (Y/N) worriedly fussed if he was okay after a minute of silence as they walked out the school, Hoshiumi, and Hakuba arguing in front of them, or the way he was seeing things now...

Meeting his gaze, (Y/N) looked up, curiously, in question. Shaking his head, the faintest smile spread as he was unable to look away. Huffing, she rests her head against the railing.

Lyrics from the music she was tuning to leaving her lips - in English, that playfully mocked the listener's misery. He could make them out, because she's been listening to the song since the album came out, and because he liked the song, too.

She looked so pretty like that.

 _“Hey, (L/N)...I like you.”_ The younger Nozawa had said.

 _"I like you!"_ (Y/N) had said to him two years back.

"(Y/N), I-" 

But the words stuck in his throat.

...

Playing volleyball proved to be an easy distraction, especially if you were good at it. The feel of his muscles burning, sweat dripping off his skin, the pull when he jumps to block or serve, the satisfaction of his serves, spikes, and blocks - and the occasional cheesing of his friends. In the hours of practice, Hirugami poured his all and made the most of his time, keeping in mind that he shouldn't burn himself out - Hoshiumi's words from long ago echoing in his head.

Their uniforms were a cyan blue, dark blue if they were away. It reminded him of things - the sky, his bedsheets, his big brother's favorite scarf, their dad's old car that he insists on keeping, the beach, _her_. (L/N) (Y/N).

Weekend practice ended early because they had exams the next week. Hirugami had just changed out of his practice clothes and into his tracks, his phone in one hand and closing on his locker with his other when he saw a text: ‘Can I see you?’

Faster than expected, he sent a reply, ‘Where are you?’ For once, he foregoes his teasing, feeling something settle in his chest.

“Oi, Sachirou, we’re getting ramen,” Hoshiumi called out “wanna come with?”

“Nah," closing his locker shut, a grin on his face, he lifts his back onto his shoulders. "I’m good. Go on without me. Thanks!”

'Nakagosho bridge'

…

“This is rare.”

“What is?” she turns her head in greeting, the lights from overhead lamp posts, passing cars, and distant establishments her illuminating her features.

“You,” standing a foot away, he leaned against the railing, nodding at the wide expanse of water between them, gushing and gurgling. “and rivers. They’re too quiet for you.”

Smiling faintly, she looks back into the river. “Quiet, huh? Nice observation there.” A pause. Behind them, a cyclist rushed by. “I just happened to buy some guitar strings and…” droning on her words, fiddling on the sleeve of her jacket. “…followed the waters, I guess.”

(Y/N) was dressed in an oversized orange and green buffalo plaid hoodie, black shorts, black knee-length socks, and black boots. Upon closer inspection, there were bandages on her fingers.

"What happened?" he asked without preamble as he took hold of her wrist, gently bringing them to his face.

"I, uh," ducking, she mumbled. "I might have played a bit too hard," the tips of her ears turned red. "and accidentally snapped one of the strings in the process."

Her gig bag hung behind her, towering over her frame like a shield. He knew she was good at the guitar, but he just can't imagine just how much she'd have to exert enough to not only break the strings but cause her fingers to bleed.

The perfectionist in him wanted to laugh, he really did. It was _so_ her to shy away and admit she was hurt, but months of friendship led to this. Trust was there, to an extent. Also, she wasn't him - she knew her limits. He ran his thumb over the exposed part of her inner wrist, smoothing over the faded burnt mark she got from being reckless when cooking rice months before.

Dropping her wrist, he took a spot beside her – now inches between them, and looked out the Susonaba River.

"Don't worry," she tells him, finding her voice. "I know my limits. Also, this one mistake will teach me not to overdo it and _actually_ listen to myself when I need to stop."

He found himself smiling at her words, eyes softening at her. "You better."

Silence filled in between the two, the river gushing, their breathing, her random taps against the railing - it all intertwined with the sounds of the suburbs. Hirugami rather appreciated these gentle moments, these little moments of theirs.

The fact was, though, well, he wanted to ask her, maybe even tease her, for wanting _him_ here. With her.

But that might ruin the comfortable silence they had, and there was that look in her eyes. He'd rather not jinx it.

Instead, he went with: "Of all places, you chose this stanky river."

Huffing, she bumps her hips to his. "I can't believe you just said 'stanky'."

Unapologetically, he shrugs at her. "I mean, it's not really your kinda scene."

Smiling faintly, she leaned to her side, meeting his gaze. "It isn't, huh?"

Another question surfaced; one he had been meaning to ask.

Whenever they were at the beach there was always this sort of calmness in her, something he knew he could find every Friday, by the nearest beach in Niigata prefecture (of all places) when the sun was about to descend into the horizon, because she'd rush over after school. Only there, would he find a (Y/N) who was happy, free, and unafraid.

Yet, he held himself in.

It was the question Hirugami thought he had to rightfully earn.

"My dad," her voice cuts through his thoughts, as though reading them. "I go to the beach because of my dad."

Surprised by the softness of her voice, he felt himself with an overwhelming need to look at her, to see her whole. "Why?"

A soft smile graced her lips, eyes flickering the faintest emotion. _Sadness_. "He would take me there when I was younger.” _Longing_. “Every weekend. After school. During holidays. All of my best memories of my dad were there." _Yearning._

He nearly choked at that. It was as though another layer of hers had been shed off, allowing Hirugami another look into this enigmatic girl.

"Thank you..." she looks up at him, brows furrowing slightly. "...for trusting me." he adds, watching the crinkle in her eyes as her lips upturned. Something inside him felt warm, _happy_.

Quickly settling into silence, the two teens just stared at the waters. Behind them cars were honking, murmurs were heard from people walking by, the river gushed, but to him, the loudest thing he could hear was the thump in his chest.

“...so, they named me captain,”

(E/c) eyes widened, quickly turning to him. “Oh wow, congrats.” The thump in his chest continued, not that he seemed to mind, reveling only in the prideful glint shining through her eyes, her face. “Well, if I were to put my two cents in, you’re perfect for it.”

A steady beating kick-started in his chest rather pleasantly. “You think so, huh?”

“I know, so.” Frowning, she playfully elbows him. The two share a breathy laugh, breaths coming out in puffs. “I, uh, I’ve been playing support, lately.”

He blinked at that. "What's a support?"

"It's someone who temporarily fills in for a band."

"So, they don't stay forever?"

Her expression pinches, turning to him exasperatedly. "What part of 'temporary' did you miss?"

He found himself laughing, at her, at them - at their banter, at their ambiguous relationship that he wouldn't have any either way. She laughs with him, her eyes disappearing into the creases as her lips lift, something inside him softens at that. She had such a pretty smile.

Leaning against her folded arms against the railing, she turns to look at him, mumbling. “Congrats on the captaincy.”

He stares at her in turn. They stare for what seems like an eternity, the whole world just blurring behind them.

“Congrats on playing support,”

She laughed. “Double congrats to us for heading into our third years.”

They stay like that for a while, just two teens enjoying the waters, enjoying the silence, enjoying the moment between them both.

“Hey, Hirugami?” he hummed, watching a bird fly by. “I just wanna say…thanks.”

Puzzled, he turned to her. “For what?”

Shrugging, she leaned against her folded arms, eyes set at the quiet, still lake – a contrast to the loud crashes of the beach.

The skies were gray, a hazy splotch of color illuminating the skies, lamposts sleepily lighting up one by one. Turning to (Y/N), the light hits her different here, in the suburbs, as opposed to the beach. Yet, he realized, she had a light of her own.

Hirugami Sachirou’s second year began with Sakuras in full bloom and it ended with an enigmatic girl with blue hair.

…

_can I stand in your light just for a while_

_..._

For some reason, he found himself waking up at 3 a.m. For a minute, he stared at his ceiling, wondering, thinking. He closed his eyes only to have them open again. Save for Pan’s gentle snores by his bedside, his room was relatively quiet. Too quiet.

Suddenly, there was something bright, followed by static vibrations. Turning, he lazily reached out, bringing his phone to his face to find a text.

‘Hey’, it said.

A little while later, ‘are you up?’

Then a minute later, ‘sorry. that was stupid. please ignore my texts.’

‘No, I’m up.’ He texted back, adjusting the brightness on his phone. ‘What’s up?’

She didn’t reply for a while. A little disappointed, Hirugami thought of putting away his phone, trying to fall back to sleep when his phone lit up. ‘idk actually’ then ‘can’t sleep’

 **you:** ‘I just woke up, actually’

 **(y/n):** ‘wtf don’t you have practice today?’

 **you:** ‘Again: I just woke up :(‘

 **(y/n):** ‘i’ve been awake for hours’

 **you:** ‘Don’t you have things to do today?’

 **(y/n):** ‘don’t use my words against me, you ass’

Smiling, he turned to his side. ‘So, do you wanna talk?’

Okay, that felt like a stretch. It must’ve weirded her out - apparently, it’s his specialty when it comes to her.

But then his phone lit up, ‘are you up for it?’

 **you:** ‘That’s not a good pun, (Y/N), it’s inappropriate :((‘

 **(y/n):** ‘YOURE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT’

 **you** : ‘I know :D’

 **y/n):** ‘So, what’s on your mind?’

They texted until 4, sleep eventually finding them.

When he woke up, just five minutes before his alarm rang, he picked up his phone, smiling while backreading. The last thing he sent her warranted something gibberish in reply, sleep probably finally getting to her. Deciding not to beat his chances of sneaking a few more minutes of sleep, his fingers rushed a text before getting up. 

**you:** ‘Good morning, (Y/N)! Hope you had a good sleep :)’

...

**SUMMER, 2013.**

Their third year went off without a hitch - Hirugami leading the volleyball team as captain, with Hoshiumi as his vice-captain, and (L/N) off playing support with some friends of hers. Hectic as their third year was, they still managed to do their thing - eat lunch together, share earbuds in between classes, Hirugami dropping by the Light Music Club, (L/N) watching his games, and Fridays at the beach.

If anything, their relationship continued on as it was – platonic in a sense yet maintaining every bit of friendship if that even made sense. To them, maybe. But to everyone else, it was pretty much clear that they were just teetering away at what could possibly lead to something more than a friendship. It could lead to something more, if needing just a bit of a push, shove, or talking sense into them.

"Dude, you like her, don't you?"

"Like who?" he asks airily, innocently.

"Don't fuck with me, Sachirou, you know who I'm talking about!"

“No, I don’t actually.” He inspects his nails, playing oblivious to his companion’s growing rage. “Please don’t enlighten me.”

And yet, Hirugami Sachirou acts like what he has with (Y/N) was nothing more than friendship, which drives Hoshiumi Kourai to the edge.

“Are you fucking kidding me!?”

The taller teen shrugs. “Language, Kourai-kun, there are kids around us.”

“I wouldn’t be having such language if you don’t fess up already!”

“What exactly _is_ there to ‘fess’ about?”

Hoshiumi could only scream, people walking by eyeing the white-haired teen in worry.

Summer didn't officially hit Nagano until late August, where it threatened to melt the ice caps of the Hida, Kiso, and Akaishi Mountains that surround and protect his homeland.

And yet, Summers was one of the most comfortable times of the year (minus the extreme heat on some days).

September was when Nagano celebrate the anticipated, revered, famous, and cliched Summer festival.

Earlier that day, he saw some men in his neighborhood carrying _omikoshi_ shrines on their shoulders around town. Some time ago, his older brother would join in the procession and dance. He’d join in, himself, now that his brother was away, but this year, he had plans, and it wasn’t to carry his town’s portable shrines.

Instead, he was off to meet with the volleyball club and enjoy the festival at a nearby shrine. It also just so happened that the shrine they were heading to was where (Y/N) was expected to play with the band she was playing support for. Upon receiving the text, Hoshiumi, who saw and read it, asked, hence, their current situation.

“Snooping into other’s people’s texts isn’t nice, Kourai-kun.”

“I just worry about you, Sachirou.” Hoshiumi says simply, eyes burning at the taller teen.

Sighing, Hirugami pockets his phone away, the shrine coming to view. “There’s nothing _to_ worry about, I’m fine.” Mulling his words, he adds. “ _We’re_ fine, Kourai-kun. Don’t you worry your little head.”

Hoshiumi remains unconvinced but didn’t say anymore, only grumbling under his breath. The brunet laughed.

Hirugami Sachirou was not one easily angered, neither is he one to fall into verbal spats easily and if ever he was, it’d be ugly. Still, the guy had the patience and knows just when the other person is worth wasting your breath or not. When it came to the matters of the heart, however, he can get a little dense. (Like Hoshiumi’s any better, by the way)

Summer festivals were always a fun time, especially after weeks of burying yourself in academics and sports. Sure, it was set ungodly a weekend before classes resume, Summer having ended by then, but what better way to spend it through festivities, right?

The two teens walked around, enjoying the sights, stalls, colors, and smells surrounding them. Walking further in, they found themselves in a little square, where people flocked over. The brunet mentioned this might be the place, seeing a band set up on the podium up ahead, his immediate thought flew to her. Beside him, Hoshiumi lifted his head to scan the crowd for their friends,

And then there she was, dressed in a sleeveless shirt, a kimono cardigan, black shorts, and boots. Blue hair was tied into a half-ponytail secured by a familiar black and white scrunchie, a few wayward bangs framing her face. She looked so cool. And pretty. Under the lights.

Hoshiumi nudged, having been caught staring at her for too long.

An older looking man, probably a university student, introduced themselves to the audience. (Y/N) seems to fit right in, despite seeming like the youngest compared to them all.

“Must be her hair,” Hoshiumi commented, causing him to laugh.

In addition, he realized that they were all pretty much wearing the same kimono cardigan. A few stray notes sound off from the stage, the crowd buzzing with excitement. From his spot, he could see (Y/N) doing a fist bump with the bassist – almost reminiscent of her relationship with the Light Music Club’s Nozawa and Tomimatsu.

Collectively, they take a minute to compose themselves. When they were ready, the drummer raises her drumsticks, banging them together to count off, and (Y/N) starts fiddling slow at her guitar followed by a low singing.

It was a familiar [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnOGbN4IvuE) that everyone instantly recognizes, but they were doing something different to it. Hirugami hardly realized this until (Y/N) starts strumming wildly after the intro and the crowd cheers at the change.

The song wasn’t hard to miss, it was a catchy, lively, and easy song to remember, especially because half the people knew the original song but are loving the version they’re playing.

Seeing that everyone was dressed in kimono cardigans, or various forms of yukatas make much more sense if they were playing this piece despite being an opener. Well, it did fit the mood.

(Y/N) was completely unfazed by the speed and progression of her fingers dancing through the strings and frets. Although she was playing the guitar, she was singing, too. A grin spread across her face with every beat, sharing it with the lead singer. A small frown marred his face at that, which he quickly wiped away, losing himself to her guitar playing. He hadn’t realized how easy it was to simply focus on _one_ instrument in a sea of other instruments and noises. (Now he understood when she said that musical concerts were easier noises compared to sports)

And wow, was she was amazing as she played the guitar, even with people much older than her. It looked like she belonged. She looked almost too far out of his reach.

The crowd went wild with her guitar solo, dark-polished nails easily dancing through the fret to fret of her instrument as a wild smile stretched her face.

The song ends just as how it started – a low singing, accompanied by gentle strums. Nevertheless, it immediately set the mood for the night. Thunderous applause filled the area, beside him, Hoshiumi applauded wildly, in support of his friend.

After their first song, a microphone was propped in front of (Y/N).

“Oh? She’s gonna sing, Sachirou!” Hoshiumi nudged excitedly.

Hirugami was at rapt attention now, watching as she tucked a strand of wayward bangs away from her face, taking slow breaths as the drummer counted off behind her.

(Y/N) starts strumming slowly, drums, bass, and keyboard slowly jumping in. As soon as she opened her mouth, Hirugami felt in awe of her once more. He was blown away, almost forgetting just how refreshing it was to hear her sing.

The [song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvTVynFMI-Y)wasn’t as angsty, depressive, and angry as her usual songs, which probably was because of the festival. Regardless, she manages to convey such a cheery, childlike wonder of the song. It was a nice change, especially with how bright she seemed while singing, how light her voice was, how her (e/c) lit up her whole face.

Hoshiumi joined in, laughing as he clapped to the beat, nudging at the tall brunet who just stood there. Living to his name of being ‘immovable’, remaining in awe of her, watching in a daze.

When the song ended, a breathless laugh escaped her lips, like she couldn't believe the song was over. Once again, the park was filled with cheers. Gratefully, she bowed at the crowd, forgetting that the microphone was in the way, and bumped into it, a loud ‘thump’ sounding off. Everyone laughed, some members of the band turning to her worriedly, especially the drummer.

“Well, _that was embarrassing_ ,” (Y/N) mumbled, rubbing at her forehead. “but we have one last song for you all, hope you enjoy!”

Starting off with a strum of her guitar, that invites the rest of the instruments to play in, a familiar tune sounds through. Something inside him stirs once more when (Y/N) starts to [sing.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiLOnoik7T4)

Some people seem to sing along, familiar with the song, while some others sway to the beat of the music. When she ‘lalas’ for her song, a gentle smile spreads across her face, as though a memory came to mind. Something in him stirs, settles.

She sings about blue skies, but the only blue he could think of was the blue of her sloppy uniform tie, the ocean she loves so much, and the blue of her hair.

She sings about the beach, he can only think of the many times the two of them walk down the beaches at Niigata on Fridays, talking about anything while their footprints trail in the sand.

She sings about feeling disheartened, feeling revitalized, meeting someone – _him_ , maybe?

Ah, it was a really happy, cheery song, of a picturesque summer.

When she stands on stage, playing her instruments or singing her heart out, she looks so carefree, full of life, and sparkling.

The song ends, and Hirugami has found himself missing it, somehow too lost staring at her perform on stage. It had been the band’s last song; another would fill in later after a short break. Somehow, between the band fixing their instruments and the crowd dispersing around them, his eyes stuck to (Y/N), her singing still ringing in his head, her aura when performing clear as day.

After their performance, the two boys head backstage to meet up with the blue-haired girl.

"Hey, Hirugami, Hoshiumi!" she greeted breathlessly, face flushed and glistening with a bit of sweat.

"(L/N)!" the smaller boy practically dashes towards her. "you look so awesome back there!"

"Thanks, man." Looking behind him, she meets the brunet's gaze, a smile on her lips. "Hey Hirugami, did you enjoy the show?"

Tongue-tied, he found himself unable to respond, stuck staring at the flush of her cheeks, her eyes brimming with life.

"He did! Especially-" before Hoshiumi could continue, Hirugami instinctively – rather harshly – grabbed him by the back of his shirt and lifted him off the ground.

"What Kourai-kun said, you were awesome~"

She raised a brow at that, not liking his lack of originality, but shrugged.

"Thanks, I guess.”

"SACHIROU, PUT ME DOWN!" muffled the white-haired boy, legs kicking in the air, attracting a crowd from the volume of his voice.

"Hirugami, put him down please." And he complied, lightly shoving the shorter boy by the shoulders. (Y/N) missed this, as the female drummer from earlier called, missing also the growl Hoshiumi threw at the brunet.

"Alright, so I'm free for the rest of the night. You guys wanna hang?"

“Of course!” Hoshiumi replied enthusiastically, eyes shining.

"Great! Oh, let me just grab my things!"

With her gig bag behind her, the three began to walk around the festivities, losing themselves in it all – well, mostly Hoshiumi. The two teens laugh at his enthusiasm, sticking close lest they lose the other.

"Ah, Gao's with Shio-san and the rest," reported Hirugami to the two, pocketing his phone afterward.

The other two were busy trying to scoop as many fishes as they can - Hoshiumi just barely snagging his first, only for the paper to rip. (Y/N) gave up after her first attempt. Kneeling next to her, elbows jostling and rubbing, he tried his hand and effortlessly snagged two fishes. At this, Hoshiumi's vein popped and demanded another, not wanting to lose.

"Did you have to rile him up?" she asks him, watching the white-haired teen worriedly, glaring angrily at the goldfishes.

"Not my fault he sees everything as a challenge," the brunet replied easily, hands in his pockets. His reply earned a sigh from her, seeing Hoshiumi's third paper rip, the teen angrily running his fingers through his hair.

"This'll take a while."

"Don't worry, Kourai-kun will miraculously snag one sooner or later. If not, he'll just give up."

But both teens know that the former was more likely to happen.

Glancing over to him, she asks. “How’s captaincy doing, by the way?”

He sighs in reply. (E/c) eyes widen slightly, trying to decode said sigh. “You’re not overworking yourself, are you?”

“Of course not, Coach and Kourai-kun keep me on my toes.”

Her brows twitch, a tell-tale frown forming. “Then what’re you worried about? You’re one of _the_ best powerhouses in the prefecture, known across the nation to have the best blocks, _and_ you’ve got a formidable ace. Not to mention, you’re ‘Immovable Hirugami’.”

He smiles at her words, heart feeling settled.

“I dunno, just feels like I can do more.”

“You’re doing plenty already, don’t overthink.” She berates.

His smile grows. “You’re sounding a lot like Kourai-kun, you know that?”

At the mention of the white-haired teen, who’s quieted down and focused all of a sudden, they share a laugh. (Y/N) playfully rolls her eyes at him.

“So what, I’m a broken record at this point?”

“Yep, minus points for originality.”

“Fuck off,” she laughs, elbowing him.

As predicated, Hoshiumi snapped by his ninth attempt. But by his tenth and last attempt, he managed to snag one. ONE.

Eventually though, the two players decided to hand over the fishes back to the owner – Hoshiumi, unable to see himself caring for anything other than himself, and Hirugami, because he had a dog and that was plenty for him. (Hoshiumi _did_ peg the brunet to hand it to (Y/N), but she declined, saying she wasn’t good at taking care of pets)

Together, they explore deeper into the stalls, admiring the displays, the fanfare. But mostly, Hirugami found himself admiring (Y/N) bathed under the festival lights, her blue-dyed hair – with (h/c) roots peeking in, easily separating her from the rest of these normies.

He stuck close to her, using his height to his advantage and herding her whenever the crowd got too thick. (Y/N) would consciously lean against him, as well.

They walked around the festival aimlessly, following after the hyperactive Hoshiumi, who wanted to try all the games and win some of them. Feeling like parents, they could only follow after him sometime later, meeting up with Hakuba (who was Suzu, looking red in the face)and her friends.

Together, the group wandered about, enjoying the festival as all young teens should.

For the rest of the night, Hirugami delighted in seeing the apprehension he's used to seeing from (Y/N) replace with genuine happiness, radiating through her being. By simply laughing at something her friend said as they shared a plate of yakisoba, he was captivated.

She had the sweetest singing voice and laugh, regardless if she sounded like a hyena. It was nice.

He finds himself smiling when she smiles either at him or because of their friends – it warms his heart to find that their little group was a mix of his and her friends. Time to time, as she’s sitting across him, her eyes find his, shining brightly and smiling, before returning back to her friends.

Face propped on his palm, he, on the other hand, just barely managed to bring himself back to Hakuba and Hoshiumi’s little spat on whatever, enough to give a little retort that had the two meat heads spewing whatever.

Darting back to the girls’, brown met (e/c). All smiles.

Maybe Hoshiumi was right, after all.

…

After a hearty dinner, the group announced that they should find a spot to watch the fireworks. Somehow, it ended up with a mini-debate on the best spot. Hirugami, Hoshiumi, and (Y/N) hung back, just letting the group be, walking in comfortable silence.

The road was becoming narrow, the group had to stick closer. Hirugami, with his height, managed to keep track of the group.

Suddenly, his wrist was yanked back, he jerked his head back – meeting blue. “(Y/N)?”

She was slightly bending, one hand holding his wrist, the other held on to her knee. “S-Sorry, I almost tripped...”

“That’s okay. You’re not hurt, are you?” He looks over her frame, one hand holding out to her gig bag, lest she hit her head bit it. (Y/N) shakes her head, standing to her full height, when “Wait, where’s Hoshiumi?”

“Kourai-kun?”

“Yeah, he was walking ahead of me and-“looking back, their group was long gone, lost into a sea of people.

Guiding her to the side, the two teens took out their phones and began to make calls. Unfortunately, (Y/N)’s phone died at her third phone call, having forgotten to bring her charger or power bank. Hirugami had no luck, neither of their friends was answering their calls.

That is until he got a text from one Hoshiumi Kourai.

It read, ‘Good luck, Sachirou!!!!’

Hoshiumi left the two on purpose.

Hirugami actually cursed under his breath.

“Hirugami?” came (Y/N)’s voice worriedly. “What did Hoshiumi say?”

Sighing, he pocketed his phone and faced the girl. “They’re…probably at the west entrance of the shrine.”

“West entrance,” she repeated, unaware of the lie Hirugami had just made.

(Seriously, he was getting that tiny ace after this.)

“Do you want me to carry your guitar for you?” he offered. “You’ve been carrying them around, isn’t it heavy?”

"Ah, it's fine." She assures with a smile. However, Hirugami did not miss the times he saw her rub at her shoulders. Without a word, he took her gig bag off her back and carefully slipped his arms in. It was heavy, but not that heavy.

"Hirugami, seriously..." a soft pout mars her face, fixing her fallen cardigan back. He very nearly swallows at the sight, especially when he saw a peak of her collarbones.

"Don't worry your little head, (Y/N)."

He stares at her hand, longingly, wanting nothing more than to hold them in his. Instead, he turns to the crowd, inviting with his eyes. 

Hirugami supposes he could pass his thanks to his best friend, instead. The way (Y/N) looked bathed under the moonlight and festival lights, seeing those (e/c) eyes of her fill with life. Just standing with her now, after years of friendship, made him think in amusement of how much their relationship has changed, how a simple curiosity can really change things.

The two of them eventually reach the shrine, which was relatively deserted save for a few people - noticeably, couples. Beside him, (Y/N) craned her head up, looking out for any of their friends.

"They're not here, huh."

"We can just wait?" he offered with a shrug.

Together, they settled beside the shrine, where there was a little balcony that overlooked the area and a bit of Susonaba River nearby. Unable to help herself, (Y/N) ran towards the railing and marveled at the view. The brunet laughed softly, eyes fixated on her, her blue hair meshing well with the sapphire skies, dusted with flecks of shining stars.

"So pretty..." she whispered, hand holding on to the guard rail.

Standing next to her, Hirugami carefully sets the gig bag to the ground, elbows on the railing, turning to her. She turns to him curiously, a bit surprised at how he doesn't have something snarky to say to her and by the lazy intensity in his warm eyes. (E/c) softens then, taking him in. They stare for what seems like forever, as though pocketing and keeping the universe in each other's eyes.

"You remind me of a word," he holds her stare in his, feeling as though he could see the cosmos hidden beneath those (e/c). "kalopsia."

Widen, then soften, something clouds her eyes before she looks away. Seeing the flush in her cheeks, he remembers when she said she liked him because of the truth he effortlessly spews out of his mouth, causing the corners of his lips to lift.

"I'm delusional?"

He shakes his head, not looking away. "The delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are."

He now knows just how guarded she is, how unwilling she is to say what's really in her head. So, he does his best to refrain from prying, settling with teasing if it'll ease her. And because he just enjoyed the heck of it - her scrunched up face, her reddened cheeks, her 'cool' persona deflating.

"At first, you seemed like an enigma to me."

Looking back at him, peering over her fingers, hiding half her face in, she whispered, "What changed?" unconsciously, she had leaned in, knees brushing his.

Shrugging, he stares at the cracks on the ground, the rust on the rails, then back to (e/c).

She bites her lower lip, cheeks flushed still, peering over her lashes. "Are you calling me an enigma just because of my hair?" she laughed softly.

“Maybe?” she laughed harder, smacking him by the shoulder.

 _Ah_ , he liked hearing her laugh. Such a sweet sound. He liked having her close.

Grinning, they hadn't realized just how close they were, just inches from closing in. His fringe was tickling hers, his breath fanning hers, eyes just caging her in.

Suddenly, someone shouted from down below, "It's starting!"

Slowly, the two pulled away but never moving apart from each other. If anything, the inches between inches decreased. The silence shared between them was anything but awkward, it was pleasant, it was nice.

They stood shoulder to shoulder, fingers touching - a spark spreading between them. His breath hitched, she forgot how to breathe. Looking over, his large hand was next to hers, millimeters just waiting to be broken.

Before he could help himself, he took her hand in his.

Feeling brave, he intertwined their fingers together, palm to palm, his large hand dwarfing her smaller one.

His big hard on hers, it made grounded her, despite feeling like she could float away. It made her feel safe. She couldn't help but squeeze in.

He felt like he could melt from that, how cheesy.

Then, the fireworks went off.

A boom, followed by incandescent colors painting the night in vibrant hues.

The two enjoyed the lights filling up the night sky, just the two of them, almost forgetting the fact that they had been separated from their friends.

No.

This moment was his - _theirs_.

Hirugami turned to her, smiling handsomely.

It took her breath away, bathed under the lights going off, he looked ethereal.

Lifting his hands to her face, large palms cradling her face, thumbs stroking at her cheekbones. Weaving his fingers through her hair, he cupped the back of her head as he leaned forward, pressing his lips on her forehead, down her nose, her two cheeks. Noses touching, it sent him on a high. A hairsbreadth away, feeling the thundering in his chest, unable to look away from her lips, had him paused from going further.

Until he saw the glimmer of hope in her eyes, the distance closed between them and her lips were on his.

Fireworks still went off beside them, painting the skies red, green, yellow, blue.

 _Soft_ , her lips were undeniably soft against his. Kissing, he realized, was dizzying, feeling like he’s engulfing her through every press, the smell of her was intoxicating. Yet at the same time, it was… _addicting_. Parting, they panted against each other – fireworks still going off, illuminating her features.

 _Beautiful_ , she looked so beautiful tonight.

"(Y/N)," his voice was soft and earnest, foreheads pressing. "I think I like you."

Blinking, she reaches a hand, brushing at his fringe before rounding over to cup his cheek. He puts his hand over hers, his large hand dwarfing over hers, leaning against her touch, eyes never leaving hers.

"You're a piece of shit, Hirugami," she says quietly, he laughs handsomely, face cracking into a silly smile. "but I think I like you, too."

...

_Oh no._

...

 **FALL, 2013**.

The memory of them walking back, with his dog happily trailing after them, his hand in hers, smiling silly at each other.

She allowed him to walk her just by the corner to her street, not wanting to risk the gossip from her neighbors.

When the corner came up and she announces her leave, she stumbles back as Hirugami tightens his hold on her, standing in place. Unmoving. More like, he didn’t want to move and let the night end. He hopes he could muster the words to tell her, but a smile was all he got. A soft, gentle, warm smile. He’s looking at her, as though she hung the stars and moon in the night sky.

It was making her feel things, feeling the heat in her face, kind of wanting to look away out of embarrassment, but also kind of want to remain lost, silly, and maybe a bit of in love (?) in those beautiful eyes.

So, he cups her face and kisses her quick and fast, smiling silly still – his smile mirroring hers, eyes shining.

Okay, he was sure to eat those words about hating the lovey-doveyness of his sister and her boyfriend now. He’ll never hear the end of it from Kourai-kun, too.

That night he slept smiling silly, staring at his hand, where he had held her, and laughed into it. His dog, Pan, stared, tilting his head in confusion.

Monday, the next week, he was skipping in his step, excited to see her.

An unmistakable glow filled him for the rest of the day, one that Coach Murphy slyly asked about to which he tried to laugh off. The old man was not averse to these kinds of things after all, but it was one thing for your parents to catch on it (thank god his older siblings weren’t around), but it was another story if it were your coach!

Hoshiumi was no help either, but he was all over him like a proud parent.

But she wasn't there.

He dropped by the Light Music Club, she wasn't there either.

He had texted her earlier but received no reply. He asked around, but no one had seen her all day or the day before. Even her friends haven’t seen her or heard from her, which was worrying.

Hoshiumi said she might be sick.

But why does his gut them him otherwise?

Later that day, he found himself standing out her house – Shio-chan, one of her friends, managed to give her address, never realizing how close their homes were and just how bleak her place is. This was the place that bright girl of his had been.

When he tried to knock, a neighbor, who had just exited, said that nobody was home.

“Ah, is that so?” Something wasn’t right, didn’t settle right in his stomach. “Do you know where she is?”

The woman – an elderly Korean woman, the same one who gave (Y/N) packed gimbap sometime ago – looked apprehensive.

“My boy, she's at the hospital."

Dread washed over him. "W-What...?"

"She was attacked by her mother.”

…

…

…

…

…

_(nice dream, foolish girl)_

…

…

…

…

…

“Why are you smiling girl?” Jolting in place, hands froze releasing the door handle as she slowly turned to meet her mother’s gaze – glazed, angered, venomous.

A pack of beers sat beside her, a few cans had been opened and tossed aside, joining the many littering the floor. Sitting on the floor with a leg propped up, dry patches on the wooden floor – puke, beer, or blood, maybe all three, under her. The window had been opened up, bringing in the cool summer breeze, bathing their room in a haunting light, especially with the way her mother was staring at her. “Why the fuck were you smiling, hmm?”

“N-No reason!” She cursed at herself mentally, feeling herself start to sweat. “I-I just came from the festival with a few friends, s’all.” Sharp (e/c) eyes narrowed, not moving from her spot, making her nervous. “H-Here, I even brought you some fo-“

Slapping her away, harshly, the food spilled from the plastic and into the floor. Beer sloshed from her hand, unsteadily, she dipped back as she took a sip. Sniffing, she continued to stare her daughter down, taking in her attire.

“Ah, that shitty festival? You went without even telling me? Is that how I raised you?” (Y/N) flinches, shrinking herself under the rise of her mother’s voice, words stuck in her throat.

Silence filled in, probably prolonging her discomfort being at the receiving end of those eyes. Something lodged in her throat, her unease creeping over, head still lowered.

Wisps of light filled the room, shadows flickering, and painting the home in an ominous, dreadful vibe. Slowly, a sneer formed its way to her lips. “Oh, I see...there was a boy, right?” Hirugami’s face comes to mind – neutral, teasing, soft, kind, mild panic setting in. “All those fucking summer festival romances that ya kids wanna try? How cliché. Grow the fuck up, will you?”

“T-That’s not it! There is no boy–“

Her face turns to the side, feeling stinging pain on her cheek.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, girl!” she screamed, her breath reeking of alcohol and tobacco. “I saw the look on your face, I’d fucking know that look fucking anywhere! Look at you, being a fucking slut, whoring around and parading yourself in school? Is that what you do now!?”

Finding her words, (Y/N) tried to defend herself only to be tossed with cold, bitter beer to the face. Swallowing, she looked up to meet her mother’s gaze. “I’m taking my studies seriously!”

“Oh yeah?” she sneered, eyeing the guitar slung on her back. “I’ll see it when you drop all these useless music thingies,”

Her nails bite into her skin, blood boiling at the mention of her instruments. Her _father’s_ instruments. “THEY’RE DAD’S INSTRUMENTS! THEY’RE NOT USELESS!”

She had kept his instruments for so long because they were the only things of his she’ll ever have. The only way she could connect to him, keep his memory alive.

Another crack, her face turned to the other side, something dripped down her cheek probably from the ring on her mother's finger.

“SO, YOU TALK BACK TO ME NOW?! I’M YOUR MOTHER, DO AS I FUCKING SAY! IS THIS HOW YOU REPAY ME BRINGING YOU TO THIS GODFORSAKEN EARTH, YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT?! I WOULDN'T BE THIS MISERABLE IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU! YOU TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN BORN, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING PIECE OF SHIT!”

She barely knew the woman in front of her anymore, the woman who was barely there for her, who kept wasting away with alcohol. The woman who slept the day away, tormenting her whenever she can.

Unable to take it anymore, she raised her gaze, angry, hot tears leaking out. “WHY ARE YOU BLAMING ME FOR SOMETHING _YOU_ DID TO DAD? IT’S NOT FAIR! I’M HIS DAUGHTER, TOO! I LOVE HIM, TOO! HE LOVED BOTH OF US SO MUCH YET YOU’RE JUST WASTING AWAY!”

Taken aback, the woman’s eyes widened angrily. “HOW DARE YOU-“

“YOU WEREN’T THERE! WHEN I NEEDED A MOM, I HAD MY DAD INSTEAD! YET HE KEPT WAITING FOR YOU!”

Memories of her mom walking out surfaced, her father crying after her. Her father’s crying face. His heart-breaking wails. The pained smiles he’d give her. The longing on his face after every song.

Taking calming breathes, she pressed her palm against her chest, rubbing down to dull the pain. “Thank you for giving birth to me and for bringing me to this crazy, beautiful, world, mom. But–“ that seemed to be the last straw because before she knew it, with a crazed look in her mother’s eyes, there was a kitchen knife in her hand and lunged.

…

Everything that happened after her talk with her mother came into a blur.

A dulling pain throbbing her head, making her dizzy and nauseous, before realizing that there was a scent of strong medicine, something scratchy on her fingers.

Bandages, since when were there bandages on her wrist? Oh no, how will she play? _Can_ she play?

Where was her phone?

(Her mother had stomped on it, the pieces splattering on the floor)

When she left the hospital, someone earlier told her of her case and her mother, she was in a daze.

She didn't know where to go.

She didn't want to go home - back to that cold, empty, and dark place she used to call home.

Where _she_ was waiting.

(Luckily, her neighbor had already called the police the moment the yelling began.)

And so, she ran.

Before she knew it, she was standing in the familiar beaches in Niigata, staring out at the endless blue, hugging herself. Saltwater air calming, soothing, cooling.

Yet somehow, still not as enough to fix the void inside of her – suffocating, consuming-

"Dear, are you okay?" she saw an elderly couple approach, the older woman carefully approaching her.

Without even knowing why, she just broke down.

The couple glance at each other worriedly, carefully taking the crying girl in their arms, letting her cry her heart out.

“There, there, let it out, dear.” When she’s cried enough, she felt gentle wrinkled hands wipe tears away, cupping at her cheeks. “Do you feel better now?”

Unable to lie to her, weakened by her kindness to a total stranger, she could only shake her head. The older woman’s expression softened. “Oh, my dear girl…”

“Did you break up with your boyfriend?” the older man asks, bluntly, causing the woman to slap his shoulder.

“No,” replied the teen, fingering at the scrunchie on her wrist. “He’s not even my boyfriend.” Realizing that they were referring to Hirugami, the only boy who’s been with her, here, in Niigata, she looked up. “How did you-“

“Girlie, I may be old, but I ain’t blind.” He huffs.

“What he meant to say is, we've been watching you," The older woman says.

"Yeah, it sounds creepy, but we can't help it, you're within our field of vision." At the end of his finger, he points at the small building – a restaurant, by the looks of it, next to the road then to their spot.

All those days, between him and her, have been under the watchful eyes of these two. Heat coursed through her cheeks to the tips of her ears, the two laughed quietly. “H-He’s not my boyfriend…”

The older man rolled his eyes, his wife eyed him in warning.

“Come dear," there was a gentle hand on her back "you look like you need a cup of tea.”

“O-Oh, but-“

“Girlie, trust us," huffed the elderly man, meeting her gaze "you’ll need it.”

Suddenly, overwhelmed by random kindness by strangers, it made her heart full even for just a while, she came wit them willingly.

…

_I won’t hope for anything anymore._

That was the one thing she told herself after her mother walked out on her and her father when she was younger. Promising herself never to expect things to come and accept whatever the outcome, but more importantly, expect for the worst to come. It was a pessimistic perspective, but it’s helped keep her sane and lessen the effects of heartaches.

In truth, she absolutely hated being with her mother. A second, a minute, an hour – any time spent with her was enough to fill her head with suicidal tendencies.

She spent the majority of her young adulthood verging between anger, hatred, guilt, and sympathy for the woman who left her. The woman who hurt her father. The woman who caused his death yet refused to claim it and push the blame to her. The woman who wasted away in their home, at some bar, coming home only to destroy the bento she tried making herself for school, the wooden lunchbox broken into pieces, rice splattering all over the tatami floor. The woman who was the reason she became so paranoid with her things, specifically her musical instruments that she had to hide them and buy a lock for her room. The woman who was once her mother.

Every day, since her dad died, every bit of her seemed to die as well. Not wanting to worry her friends, she kept to herself, vented through music, but could always feel herself slipping through the means. Slowly but surely.

She had been waiting, biding her time all through high school to get herself right, waiting for the moment to graduate and leave it all, start anew elsewhere. Somewhere. _Anywhere_. Her dad had left her a fat sum of money, which she hid from her mom. Plus, wanted to pursue music. It was a secured route to her future.

However, another part of her considered just letting things end and disappear completely, jump off a cliff or something. There was nothing left for her anyway. Her mother would probably be fine without her, so would her friends. There was nothing left for her in this world. She was just ready to let it all go.

But then, Hirugami happened – with his dopey smile, troll-like personality, the gentle approach to her as though knowing how vulnerable she was.

Suddenly, her plans were changing, shifting.

Suddenly, hope began to sound like an old guitar saving her from sinking.

She was so sure they could make something out of it.

But what happened with her mother felt like a scissor cutting through the chords of her strings, losing her music, her voice, leaving her utterly useless. Her vile words finally working their magic through her.

She’s had enough.

She wants the pain to end, wants the hurt to stop, wants to just-

Tears spilled before she could help herself, a sob leaving her mouth, her chest felt like it was ready to split open. Open. Wide open. Then break.

_She was just so tired._

…

_I just want it to end._

_…_

He didn’t like the feeling of knowing you weren’t enough, more so if _she_ was the only feeling it. He always knew something was up with her, behind her façade, behind her tough exterior, behind those sad lonely eyes, behind the enigma that was her. He just didn’t realize it was this serious, _this_ big.

How long she must’ve suffered, how long she must’ve been in pain, how long-

And he rejected her freshmen year.

Did his rejection of her amplify that pain?

No, that was stupid. But she was going through a rough time. He didn’t know.

Hirugami’s head was spinning, long after he walked with (Y/N)’s Korean neighbor to the hospital, as she shared everything about her. All the gritty details she kept hidden away.

A dead father. A drunkard of a mother. A lost, quiet, polite, young teenage girl with blue hair. A lonely, empty apartment that was her home.

She didn’t seem like she was empty though, always with her music, her friends, her clubmates. In a way, she was lost – lost by her own making through music, drowning everything that is anything that could mean and remind her of hurt.

Her smiles, they were always subdued and tight. Her eyes, always lost, always searching…

Balling his fingers, anger washed over for (Y/N).

“I’m sorry?” Myungim, the neighbor, gasped at the reception clerk. “What do you mean she’s not here?”

“Well, she was discharged about a few hours ago. She said she had someone waiting for her and left.”

“But that girl doesn’t have anyone left!” said the old lady, gripping the items in hand worriedly. “her father’s sister lives abroad. I promised him I’d look after her, so I’m her guardian, Social Services knows of this!”

“I’m really sorry ma’am, but she’s not here.”

A part of him wanted to scream, seeing as the situation’s escalated for the worse, but didn’t. This was not the time, especially when the elderly woman in from of him looked seconds away from breaking.

Taking a deep breath, remembering to keep calm, his mind easily came up with one place he was sure she’d be. Turning to the old lady, he assured her: “Don’t worry, I know where she is.”

…

A summer ago, rain wouldn’t relent down on Nagano. It was days in a shared umbrella with a certain tall brunet, talking, arguing (mostly her), voices gentle through the downpour – it was a memory she’d keep forever.

Those rainy days, sometimes, made her wish of stormy days where she’d be with him, Hirugami, someplace by themselves.

The only storm she ever got was one in her heart, weighing her down heavily.

On the third day she spent with the kind couple, she was greeted by a gentle morning shower. Petrichor fell against the tip of her tongue, soft brown eyes coming to mind associated with his mulling expression, his teasing eyes – it made her want to cry.

Leaving the house later that day, she found herself wandering around.

Mind empty.

Thoughts heavy.

Wearing borrowed clothes, she felt like a ghost in that little seaside part of Niigata, just hours away from home. Should she go home? Should she check her friends?

Should she just…disappear?

She stopped on her tracks, body hunched over, eyes staring blankly at her shoes. Around her, the world continued on, as though the girl on the corner of the street wasn’t part of the scene.

Slowly bringing herself up, staring at the skies, she thought she could find an answer written in its vacant blue.

She began to move.

_Left foot._

_Right foot._

_Left foot._

_Right foot._

Should she…?

_Left foot._

_Right foot._

Tomorrow was another day, though.

_Left foot._

It sounded promising.

_Right foot._

_Left foot._

Who was she kidding?

_Right foot._

How many tomorrows has she promised herself?

_Left foot._

_Right foot._

_Left foot._

_Right foot._

Far too many tomorrows, ending with her in tears, screaming into her pillow.

_Left-_

Something was in front of her – a lamp post?

Puzzled, she looked up further, realizing she had reached the Naoetsu station. She had been here, just days before. Absentmindedly, her hands went to her bandaged arm, hugging it in consciously, before finding herself walking in.

Dazed, lost, she looked around the busy station, brimming and buzzing with life, it made her envious.

She took out her wallet, the only thing she brought with her, tapping her card, letting her walk through. Gazing blankly at the railway maps, names of stations, and prefectures blurring, seeing only color and scattering nonsense.

(Y/N) walked towards the platform, the station was relatively quiet at this time, it was nearing dusk. It was as though she were a ghost, haunting through the sleepy station, with the occasional person walking by her, unnoticed. (E/c) eyes followed along with the asphalt, curiously to the ends of the platform, down to the trails.

Her mind was empty.

Just empty.

Everything around her just disappeared.

The only thing she could see was her feet, just inches away from the ends of the platform, inviting her in.

She couldn’t see what awaited her at the end, couldn’t pick up anything, yet, she could sense it beckoning her to take a step, then another step in. Something awaited her on the other side. It just needed her to move.

 _Move_.

Take a step forward.

Willing every molecule in her body, she could feel her foot leave the ground-

"(Y/N)!" a voice called.

Snapping awake, like she was in a hundred-year coma, she turned, eyes widening at the sight. Of Hirugami Sachirou, disheveled, out of breath, eyes equally wide and soft – filled with relief, joy, and sadness, in Naoetsu, Niigata. For her.

“(Y/N)…” her name in his voice, it was a relief to hear, honestly, it was so refreshing to hear.

Realization fell upon her, shame gripping as she took a step back, towards the exit this time. Confusion ran through his features, the PA announcing overhead.

Without thinking, she turned and ran, far as her feet could take her.

Though she was running, faster than she could ever run even for her PE class, she was struggling to breathe, feeling her chest tighten painfully at the sight of him, Hirugami Sachirou, the one person who's become a living tether for her, the one person who’s strange kindness and presence brought color to her weary days, the one person she’s found falling for once again?

It scared her. It honestly scared her.

She didn’t want to burden him anymore.

He had enough on his plate, he didn’t, he couldn’t see her like-

_"(Y/N), I think I like you."_

Something akin to a sob escaped her mouth, hands flying to her mouth.

_“Hirugami, I like you!”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“Someday, (Y/N), you’ll find someone just for you. Someday, okay?”_

_“You think anyone would want you and your worthless ass? Wake up, you useless girl!”_

Hands grabbed hold of her, turning to meet his angry gaze.

“What were you trying to do!?”

Eventually, she realized where she had taken herself, bare feet digging into the familiar sand. Behind them, the sun threatened to sink and disappear into the horizon, dampening the skies with the colors of the night.

Running his hands over her, (Y/N) numbly stood, letting Hirugami worry over her – hands shakily hovering her bandaged arm, feeling her cold skin against his heated skin from rushing to the nearest station after telling Myungim-san where he was going, fingers smoothing over her unkempt blue hair.

“Hi…” her voice was soft, almost a whisper, he looked up, hands cupping her cheeks, brown eyes encouraging. “Hi-Hirugami…” It was as though she hadn’t accepted the fact that he was here, hundreds of miles away from home, for her. “Hirugami…” he let her say his name, if it helped keep her grounded. “Hirugami…”

Gently, he took her hands in his, thumbs running over her knuckles in comfort, smaller fingers slowly wrapping over his.

_Sharp rocks scraping over his knuckles, blood smearing-_

He tightened his hold.

_Expression blank, eyes almost dead, walking straight into-_

“You could always quit, too, you know.”

“Hirugami-“

“You can quit. Just quit, if you don’t feel like it anymore. Quit.” He swallowed, feeling his eyes burn. Remembering everything she had told him, the things he’s heard, the thought of her feeling so burnt out. He leaned forward, forehead pressing against hers. “It’s never a mistake to call on quits on the things and people who make you unhappy. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t lean on others, that you have to seek an unfair end for yourself.”

“Hiru…gami…”

“I’ll be that one for you, (Y/N). You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I’ll let you lean on me, whether you like it or not. Quit, but don’t give up on yourself.”

The fact that there was someone willing to chase after her, set things right, set things into stone, bring her back up, assure her time and time again that life was worth something – it was too much for her poor heart.

Tears leaked from her eyes, her heart slamming into her chest. It was too much.

“W-Will you be patient with me…?”

For all she knew, she was probably the worst, with so many flaws that it could fill a book, she was riddled with problems all over-

He replied with a resounding yes, releasing one of his hands to cup her cheek.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way, (Y/N).”

Everything was blue, then lilac, then (e/c).

All he saw was her.

A beautiful disaster of an enigma.

…

**FALL, 2018**

Pressing the lock screen, the time ’16:15’ flashed before him, with a photo of him and her, hugging their dog. It brought a small smile to his face before he remembered that around that time, his big brother would be playing alongside Kourai-kun and the rest of Schweiden Adlers. And Hinata Shouyou.

Wow, that was a game to behold.

He was going to catch that later.

His phone beeped, he brought it up and the smile returned seeing a text. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to yell/scream at me on my [Tumblr](https://alicemitch09writesdump.tumblr.com/)


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